Suckerology

2012-01-29T05:29:00.001+08:00

Today went out after work for swensens with GF, her sis and bro in law. They are really funny and cock. Then GF went hm and took her bike so that we can slack under my block. Tonight is windy and cold. It seems to be a long time since we kiss. I miss kissing her and hugging her. I dont know how is next mth schedule gonna be like. I hope we have more time to spend with each other. I need to see her everyday if possible. If i can chain her with me, im more than happy to, or if i can just summon her to my side anytime i want. I always miss her ):

2012-01-27T23:50:00.001+08:00

ARE U FINDING ME LATER ? DEAR DEAR I LOVE YOU !

Im so happy! GF is finding me later after she ends work! So happy. Though we wont be going anywhere but her company is all im asking for. Tml GF is off but im working closing. Haiis, abit sad. i dont like GF's closing shift, it starts late so that she can have enough sleep but it ends too late. 230am! So late la! I scared in the future we wont have time for each other. I miss her already. Never meet, will miss her like fuck. Faster faster april come, then we can spend quality time together. GF you know i love you alot right ?!

2012-01-25T04:42:00.001+08:00

Sometimes you just wanna quiet and shut up. It doesnt involves you so you just shut up. Sometimes its cos the party are talking so well, and it just makes you wanting to shut up and let them talk. And you are in ur own world or just listening to them talk. Im not good in talking. Im not good in expressing myself. I think too much in what pple will think of me. I will think of myself to be independent. I can keep things to myself. I can struggle with myself. I rather let myself to suffer than others. Cos i know i can tolerate whatever shit. Whatever it is, there wil also be always solutions to a problem. Be it whatever shit it is.

I wanto go to the beach one day and feel the breeze and isolate myself from the outside world. Outside world, being so complicated, and at times i dont understand, and they........

Not understanding me.

(i know its kinda random, blog. But yeah)

2012-01-24T01:24:00.001+08:00

Its chinese new year where pple gather together. I dont gather with my relatives as we arent close and i dislike them for being a busybody. Where are my friends where i can just ask them out to slack? There used to be Baba, but now no more. I think he dont wish to contact me for some reason and is not me who doesnt wanto contact him. There was esther but soon i found that she was badmouthing bout me. There is ah mei but some things you just cant tell her as she has the habit of not able to keep it to herself. I have wee wee, but it is always to drink. I dont mind drinking, i enjoy it but it kinda gets over my expenses at times.

I need more friends. Friends whom i can hang out with. Where have they gone to? No wonder i used to have my computer as my buddy.

2012-01-22T16:46:00.003+08:00

Today is chinese new year eve and Im waiting to eat reunion dinner. Im hungry already. Currently Im wearing a hush puppies red checkered boxer and a plain red t-shirt. My mom said that I have to wear red so she bought it for me. I plan to eat dinner then, go to bed and sleep cos tml Im working morning anyway.

Ytd we went to the zoo. My stubborn GF who she always thinks that she is made of stainless steel, she didnt sleep the day before and she worked midnight and after work, she ended work and went out with me. It is like practically one whole day never sleep. She is fucking stubborn. We took a bus to Ang Mo Kio, and then took a bus to the zoo. It was a Saturday thus there is many people. The admission ticket is at $20 per person, but if you are an NTUC member, they give you 30% discount! So the both of us only paid $24! CHEAP RIGHT?!

We didnt really walk one round. It was like all GF wanted to see was her BEI HOR, and all i wanted to see was the baboons. I think we were lazy to walk ba. We saw horse, goats, tigers, hippo, monkeys, baboons, penguins, kangaroos and some stupid animals. I think that was all. But it's lucky that we left early as there was a huge rain.

We booked the tickets to watch 小孩不坏, its really a very good show. I can watch it again. I WANTO WATCH THE DEVIL INSIDE. I have to watch this, MUST! We watched the movie, GF said she had to rush back so took a cab back to bedok south, then me bus-ed back to TECC, took the cap. I think can throw away, cos its kinda out of shape. Met up with Wee Wee, chit-chatted, drink abit with Ah mei too. And then went home.

My right arm is aching. I think I nv sleep properly. Right arm aching, my left thumb aching also. Nao hiang.

2012-01-22T03:15:00.001+08:00

I really miss you so damn lots. I want you to be mine always. I want you to there for me 24/7. I need you so much that you cannot imagine and that i cant describe how much. I love you fucking hell lots. I know i get jealous easily but cos im selfish. Im selfish. I dont wanto share you with others. I have to see you everyday. Its a need.

I love you so much that i cant imagine. It cant be compared to the past.

2012-01-20T03:27:00.001+08:00

Today management meeting. Still okay la, thought going to have war but dont have. Apparently all those pinoys shut up, i guess they dont have the balls to shoot back. Thus kenny also felt like no kick cos nobody talked back. Then after that we went to pizza hut for dinner and haagen daz for dessert.

After which all went home, me and kenny went to parkway to find GF for supper and fetched sally along too. Once again i miss working with sally. I miss her style of working. Wendy is okays la, as long as we do our work. She wont nag at us. So far she has nv been fierce to me. I can always smile smile and laugh my way through. Not much matter.

I haven seen GF for the whole day and i miss her damn fucking hell alot. Me and kenny was sitting outside waiting for her and waiting for the pay to be in. We went to check an we got only 100 dollar extra payout. Kenny kept on kb-ing. To me, im alright la. Of cos can have more jiu more lo. If dont have lan lan lo. Atmost dont spend too much lo.

We went simpang for supper and chit chatted for quite awhile. Talked bout store, gossiped bout other pple. With sally, we can always be opened and can ask her anything. She is really the best boss i have ever seen in my whole mcdonalds life.

After we went home. GF said she will go and book the tickets for april. WEEEEEEEEE. So now awaiting for our holiday. Only me and her. HAPPY.

I LOVE YOU !

I doubt tml can see her cos her boss is working midnight with her ):

2012-01-19T03:57:00.001+08:00

Today GF was supposed to be off. But she took over her boss shift. Actually quite happy that she took over cos i can confirm that i will see her after work and that she is just one street away from me. Anyway its still worth it cos she worked from 4pm till 11pm and her boss owe her one off day. Sometimes i wish that i have her spirit as she can come back work during her off day. I dont really wanna come back during my off day and i will have to see who im working with. But well, now i will do anything just to have more off days in due.

After her work, she came over and find me. (happy :D) and today's work is shiok cos im working with kenny and then jayson midnight. I have things to do for my payroll which isnt mine. But anna doesnt seem to be able to handle it. And whatever i told her, seems like she wanna do her own way so be it lo. But i still dont understand why PCA, she isnt the one doing it with me.

After work, we went to find rachel and slack. She cooked hot dogs and eggs. I dont wanto eat as i wanto lose weight. At night eat, will fattening. I really wanto trim off some fats. I wanted to do 50 jumping jacks everytime i shower. I tried it and its tiring man. Hahaha, but still its a form of exercise what. Its stupid, i know. And today I NV DRINK COKE cos cole sweetening. But i drank orange mcfizz. Ahhahaa. Slowly slowly change my way of eating.

We slacked slacked, talked bout birthdays. I cant wait for GF birthday as we are going overseas. Im planning what to get for her. Hmmmmmmm. I cant wait to get out of singapore with her. I just wanto spend every minute and seconds with her, anywhere. My birthday, she said she planned liao. Really curious to know what it is. Must make her drink more next time and ask her. Hahaha.

Tml management meeting. I think its gonna be a very long one. Kenny has got so much things to say. Stimes i feel that whatever we can do just do lo. Close one eye. If its not too much of a hassle, then kio sai for them lo. That is why i dont wanto comment anything. I just wanto get my job done and get out of the workplace. Whatever i can do, i will do. If they cant do it, mean they suck. I dont wanto have hard feelings too. Oh well, we shall see bout it tml.

And i miss GF already. Tml cant see her till 11pm. Sadded. And i hope pay comes in tml night cos im officially broke with my last pckt of ciggrettes.

2012-01-18T10:03:00.001+08:00

GF fetched me frm work. It was raining at 4pm but after that the sun came out and the rain stopped. GF nv came down. I was waiting for her till i was playing game in the manager room. So i called her and she was actually sleeping in the crew room. Damn pig sia.

She fetched me hm and i changed then to her house. I didnt want to go up cos im afraid of the mum. First impression comes first and her tone of voice is not very nice. GF said her mom is like this but im not used to it. Cos usually parents will like me but this one is different.

We waited for rachel to arrive and we drank under her block. The usual lepak. Rachel wanted to take the last bus home but in my heart i wanted to stay longer with GF. GF persuaded her to stay over thus in the end, it rained. Hahahah. Rachel agreed. So we stopped drinking and went up to sleep. I miss hugging her to sleep. I wish that we can stay together. I love her so much, so much.......

2012-01-16T21:00:00.004+08:00

It has to be the AIJISEN. I shitted 5 times till my butt pain sia. Whole day stomach has been not very good. Met Rachel at 430pm, went to shop around for Rachel's new year clothes. And I bought a MANGO blouse for only $19, when this month pay comes in, if there is extra, I will buy the other two colours.

GF came to find us after she ended work, she called and I thought she was still in store cos that is what she said. I was waiting for Rachel to try her clothes, after I hanged up with GF, afew minutes later, she appeared in front of me. LOL, funny isn't it.

Then we went to eat teppanyaki express, its very nice. Then we went to HAN and slack cos there can buy drinks and smoke. Rachel wanted to use the WI-FI, apparently there wasn't. Since we are working opening tml, so we went home early. And now we are tango-ing.

GF said she is going to write a letter for me, she said IT IS MORE SINCERE. So next time I shall not blog anymore HOR HOR.

2012-01-16T00:00:00.001+08:00

Today went out with GF, her sister, her sister's husband and zeroy. They went to look for new year clothes. Zeroy is really lucky to have so many people dote him. Even though GF says that he is irritating but i know she loves him alot too. GF, you love me more than him right? Lol. We ate aijisen. Having a kid means that you cannot have ur meal peacefully as you have to serve the kid too.

GF bought me an adidas polo t. Thank you very much. We are going to wear it out on new year. Same polo t sia. Should have known sth is fishy when she asked me to wait there. Next time wherever she goes, i will follow. Went to her house and put stuffs. Cannot ride bike cos i wearing skirt. I dont wanto wear skirt liao, troublesome. But jeans make my thighs look big! Nvm, jian fei.

We went to tm to shop for GF's towel and shoes. She got an everlast shoe, not bad. GF wears what, also nice la. We caught a chinese movie and i fell asleep. I realise GF has more emotion with watching local movies. Hahaha.

Supposingly tml is meet GF after her work but rachel asked to accompany her to shop for new year clothings. I wish that we can shop till just nice GF ends work but i doubt so. Cos rachel is meeting me at 415pm.

I miss dear dear already.

2012-01-14T13:52:00.002+08:00

My family will be home tonight, most probably even when I left for work, they are not back yet. End of chalet. GF is currently sleeping now. She is off for the weekend, whereas I have to work midnight. But nvm, she has sth on later at night, so its okays. Tml we can still hang out. GF said her mother will be going overseas next month for 5 days, so it would be at her place then! Hope our shift is not sucky, like the other time, I worked all midnight shifts. HAHAHHAHAA.

I love you so much. I also believe that nothing can affect us.

OH YA, WHERE TO GO TML? AND DO WHAT? YOU THINK HOR.

MUACKS !

2012-01-13T21:00:00.001+08:00

Haiis. Im so gonna miss her. I wish that time can stop. I feel like crying. This is the same feeling when i went to china and have to come back. Now its just in my own home. And she has to go home cos my family is coming back. I miss her so much. So damn fucking much. I need her. I wanto lie on the bed beside her. I wanto wake up and find her sleeping beside me. I wanto cook her noodles when she is hungry. I wanto hear her just awake voice. I want her to act like a kid around me. I want her to take care of me. I want her to hug me to sleep. I want her to cover my blanket for me. I want her to cook for me. I wanto kiss good morning and good night to her everyday. I wanto see her everyday. This idiotic feeling, i miss her )): im so going to miss her. How. How. How. What to do.

Haiis. Haiis.

2012-01-13T10:56:00.001+08:00

Ytd ah mei stayed over. I was too tired so i went to sleep first. Beer finished. Woke up, ate noodles, ate hot dogs. Watched drama. Then sleep. Ah mei went to work at around 7plus cos down crew. We woke up at 9plus then bathed then work. TN3 diversion also not much so quite slack. After work, went market and buy ingredients as GF wanted to do a 三菜一汤 cos last day of chalet. I have washed my clothes, now on bed waiting to sleep.

2012-01-12T03:36:00.001+08:00

Today is the last night that we are going to spend. The upcoming days im working midnight and so is she. Im predicting that my parents will be back during the weekend.

We woke up at around noon and ate noodles, watched drama the whole afternoon till i fell asleep. Soon after GF fell asleep too. Woke up at 6pm, feeling hungry. We wanted to cook steak today. Headed out to NTUC to buy ingredients and some food to cure the hunger. Went home to cook after which rachel came over for dinner. The steak was abit salty but to me was fine. We watched Meet Dave, rachel left at 11pm. GF said to ask ah mei to come over and so she did.

Im too tired to talk or sit. So GF and her is outside talking and drinking. While im lying on bed watching movie. I just dont wanna sleep, just wanna spend time with her.

2012-01-11T12:22:00.001+08:00

Ytd was our off day together! We slept till noon, woke up, went outside to buy food cos GF said she wanted to eat the pasta that i cooked the other time. Went home to cook while GF fell asleep again! After which we watched a movie and then GF went to the bed and said she had a stomachache. Cannot be my pasta ba? Cos i ate it too. I cooked too much cos i just dumped the rest of th spaghetti in to boil.

GF left a note saying "今晚我们go out, i love you" she asked me her chinese correct or not and she forgot how to write "go out". She whatappsed me even though im just beside her, a screenshot of her booking of a movie. Hahahhahah. Stupid idiot. We went outside for dinner! Long john! And then movie. We went home to get a sweater for her then she brought me to the airport. Obviously going to the airport is for SWENSON! Lol. Her fav sticky chewy chocolate. Then we headed hm.

We went home, i wanted to bathe and GF wanted me to wash her hair for her. After lying on the bed watching drama, we were kinda lazy to move so ya. And then GF fell asleep first, she is always the first to fall asleep.

Soon chalet ending, another few days. Tml onwards we will be working midnight shift already. Haiis.

2012-01-10T07:34:00.001+08:00

Ytd we had abit of arguement. But now its alright already. I love the way she tucks in my blanket for me. I love the way she pats my head and comb my hair. I feel so loved and secure. I need her so much. Im so afraid that i lose her. GF is now going to sleep as she spent the whole night spraying her bike rim. Today is our off day and luckily GF doesnt have to wake up early later.

GOOD NIGHT

2012-01-08T23:15:00.001+08:00

Today was simply work work work. Came home and watched kungfu panda, drink beer, cook hot dogs and har gao and drink beer. And then we go sleep. Tml GF is off but i work opening but nvm. Cos after that we both off 2 days !

I LOVE YOU. MUACKS

2012-01-07T22:41:00.001+08:00

Both of us worked morning. GF changed her shift for the weekend so that we can spend more time together. Im so happy. Im really touched. GF ended work, at first GF said she is going hm first and sleep. But at 5plus, she suddenly appeared in my store. I was kinda shocked. She said she went home and get the helmet and fetched me home. She is just so damn sweet right. Then we went home, wanted to put up the mirror but it was harder than expected. So we decided just to buy the hook and hook it up.

Tml working morning again. Then after that, GF is off but im still working. But still, its okays. After work i have to go down to my brother's school to collect his o level results. Then it would be 2 days off. Have got to cherish these days as our chalet is ending soon. I doubt there will be another chance so yah.

2012-01-07T00:05:00.001+08:00

GF is working now till 230am. I hate her new closing time. Its so late! Im nt going to have time to spend with her for the weekend! Haiis. Im gonna miss her ):

I went out with meihua and got myself and GF a wallet. Same wallet, only 14.90 lei. Though no brand but its simple and nice AND CAN PUT PHOTO! i changed my iphone cover too, it looks nice! We went to ikea and buy my mirror, ONLY 9.90! And i bought a small spotlight so that whenever i use my com, i can just switch on the light without closing my door as it will affect my sister room too cos my mother may see the light. But ended up, there is no bulb included! I thought bulb will be included, no wonder only 5.90. I went to see bed also. I want to get a bigger bed, 199 ONLY SIA and it looks so comfy and spacious. Next mth, next mth.

I miss GF. I miss her so much. Why i working morning tml. Haiis. I would sacrifice anything just to spend time with her. I wanto stick to her 24/7.

2012-01-06T13:24:00.001+08:00

Ytd we both worked the same shift. GF got 75 dollars voucher so we went to ntuc to get food and beer. Practically spent 48bucks on 1 carton of beer. We dabaoed food back and eat. While i went to bathe, GF fell asleep on the sofa. I let her sleep for 2 hours while i cleared my stuffs. I planned to go ikea later to get a full length mirror and wanna shop for iphone cover. I wont be able to spend time with GF cos our shift is totally different. Her closing is so late.

Ytd night we watched 2 movies till about 12 plus, then GF fell asleep once the last movie ended. She can realy easily fall asleep. She said to wake her up when rachel and ah mei come. They did come but she wanted to continue sleeping. I maybe alittle evil, i wanted her to wake up and accompany us to drink and talk cock. Its always more fun with her. I tried to wake her up but failed and was pushed away from her too. I wont blame her as she is tired but still abit hurt. I just wanna spend more time with her. Im sorry.

So now im going to wash clothes and i dont know why but my thumb hurts. Its like rachel's thumb cramps but mine hurts. Cannot really move too much. Wash clothes. Wash clothes.

GF and ah mei are sleeping.

2012-01-04T22:48:00.001+08:00

Today worked opening while GF is off. Aint it suck?! GF and Rachel left at the same timing as me, they went to see Zeroy's day in school. They felt that the school is not good thus they withdrew him out.

Work was fine, lunch student rush is not as bad as ytd. Kenny was working, so it was fun. Fun talking with him. GF and Rachel said they will cook but they didnt tell me what they were cooking. I reached home, and both of them were sleeping, i got no key to go. So i called GF phone but it was outside. Luckily Rachel woke up. They cooked steak, not too bad but whatever happens tml, GF will not hold any responsbility. Hahahahahahahahahah. Rachel's mashed potatoes wasnt that bad, except for the milk taste. GF is so proud of her steak. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA.

Tml opening again but me and GF will see each other at 2pm for our nabit meeting which i hate. And its in smaller group, so the chances of participating in discussions or whatever is higher. Haiis. Tml going supermarket with GF. She got voucher! Ah mei coming over to drink tml night as we can sleep
In late on friday.

I hope time pass slow. As i know after this chalet, i dont think there will be any chances of happening it again.

I love you and and and you are listening to linkin park songs siaaaa.

2012-01-03T22:14:00.004+08:00

Today is the 3rd day. Nothing much. I was working from 12pm till 9pm. Kinda down crew so was busy running stations. GF also was busy, so didn't text much too. Tml Im working opening so I have to wake up early, but she is off tml. GF said that Rachel is coming over later but she ends at 1am, so I doubt I will still be awake.

GF is quite happy with the pasta! Shall try steak some other time.

2012-01-02T23:43:00.001+08:00

Tonight is 2nd night that GF stayed over. For the first night, GF slept alone as i needed to work midnight. I was kinda cant bear to leave her but i cant possibly not go for work.

2nd day im off so i decided to cook for GF pasta. It turned out not too bad. Will upload the photos tml. Was waiting for GF to come, i miss her so much. Iron clothes, i think i dont really know how to iron. LOL.

So our day went as, she came back at 6plus, bought a chinese new year dragon deco and said she wanted to put it at my room, eat dinner, watch movie and drank abit of beer then sleep.

Tml she working morning again and me at 12noom. Im gonna miss her.

2012-01-01T14:11:00.002+08:00

Day 1 of chalet starts now! And its 2012! I spent my last night of 2011, in McDonalds counting stocks. Happy that GF came down with supper and we so called celebrated the new year. She is just so good to me, even though she is working morning the next day. Im working midnight today and GF is working now till 530pm, after which she will come home. So today, there isn't any plans. Currently, Im eating noodles and going to watch some show which I don't know what. Then if can, to wait for GF to come home. Going to blog everyday, all 14 days that GF is here to stay!

I miss you so much.

Muacks.

2011-12-31T08:48:00.001+08:00

GF worked opening and i worked closing. I thought cannot see her! BUT THEN she came down with dinner which is cooked by herself! Steamed egg with alittle barbie inside and fish! She knows that im too lazy to go outside and eat. And i have bad ulcers. Thus she decided to cook! So thoughtful. She can go get married liao. Still got aloe vera as dessert. Muahahahahha. Then she went back home to sleep.

I know GF is abit pissed off that i took over Anna's midnight shift. I tot that since i got no plans and i cant mert her. So why not i take over and get another off day. Then there will be higher possibilities that we can have same off days cos she has so many off in dues and i always wanto meet her wherever its possible. So GF, dont blame me okays. For you, i will do anything so that i can see you.

After work, i still go find her. Even though its for a short while, im still happy. GF looked abit pale, she got so many problems, sometimes kinda worried for her. Stupid GF. Still ask me to blog.

TML IS THE START OF MY CHALET TILL 14th! GF! I LOVE YOU! Muacks!

2011-12-30T02:04:00.001+08:00

I BLOGGED ! i love you so much! I really seriously think that my life will suck without you. I hope that you dont get sick of me. I hope that you dont get sick of seeing me as im not pretty or cute. I hope you dont get sick of hearing me nag at you as i nag you for things i care about. I just love you so much.

I BLOGGED MORE THAN YOU BLOGGED PREVIOUSLY!

2011-12-29T02:37:00.001+08:00

Today is like the 3rd day after my midnight shift, i didnt went home to sleep. i think my mother would be like "wow, so much programme going on" lol. I hope she dont question me tml so i shall start off the topic first with her about my hair and the new checkered shirt that i have bought.

I cant remember dyeing hair is so painful when he washed my hair and applied some solution at the edge of my hair. Damn cheebye burning sia. I nearly wanted to scold out cheebye. Fucking burning sia. And i just washed my hair, i can feel the sensation burning of it. I dont know its normal or not. But it really hurts sia, like BURNING. I wanted the color dark blue, but he said it will turn out like black. Thus i decided to do the purple. And its not too bad, not as what rachel exaggerate, PURPLE. Its like dark purple. Its a change to see my brown hair to a darker color, very refreshing.. Thanks rachel for accompanying me while i dyed my hair. Heeee.

So GF went to work, can see that she is tired(but what is new) LOL. Its sad that she couldnt join us. Me and Rachel had KFC for lunch cum dinner. We headed off to Peninsular for checkered shirts, same auntie. Before that we went to check out her speakers that she wants to buy for her chalet. And its only for one time usage. We were like some idiots testing out the speakers over there, and she even danced to the music. And yeah, she did get her speakers.

After Peninsular, we decided to take a bus back to bedok which was round 9plus. We were meeting GF after her work. We had 3 hours interval and decided to go cash studio. We should have gone to the one at simpang cos we having supper there with GF. Thus we wasted our cab fare there.

Eat eat eat, we planned for later our meeting. We are like the chipmunks. We stick to each other. Lol. But it is fun. Tml GF finally off. Same off day, we are going to create a joint account and it will mark the start of savings. Cant wait for later. I miss you so much GF!

2011-12-26T22:06:00.001+08:00

Haiya, 3 days midnight just nice. GF parents went overseas but too bad cos im working midnight. Thus only can go over in the morning but GF either has work or meeting at 3pm so its just for a short while. Anyway just wait for a few days more, the real chalet will start!

GF keeps saying to blog. But i dont know what to blog. If i blog like how i blog about the east coast. It would be like "today i went to work at 103pm. GF came to find me at around 3am. Then she and rachel watched movie at the other lobby while i close cash. Then at 6am, rachel went home. Me and GF went home later to her house, bathed and sleep"

LOL . Tml morning going over also.
DONE BLOGGING!

2011-12-25T04:11:00.001+08:00

Dear Blog

Merry Christmas! I dont usually celebrate christmas. Its just like the usual and buying gifts too. I went to City hall alone, simply just blasting the music to myself. At least i know that i needed to buy something. The main thing was that i wanted to go HMV to get the calender for GF. When we saw the calender, we didnt buy. After which she regretted and then i remembered telling her that i would get for her that week but i didnt. I felt so bad which was why today i went to city hall to get it for her. I went to HMV straight, but sadly, there was no more. Haiis, its kida disappointing. As what wee wee said, what if no more. Haiis, what bad mouth he has sia. I just simply got her the mistletoe disc.

I bought pizza hut for her. And i thought she would be like WOW, PIZZA HUT but she didnt. I thought i could surprise her but failed. And when i passed her the cd, she also didnt have much expression. So yeah, kinda disappointing compared to when i gave her the 100th day DIY gift. I thought she was shag cos of her period cramps but rachel said she was full of cock. So i guess she wasnt shag.

Haiis. I can see that she is very tired. I keep telling myself to not keep sticking on her. I know that she loves me but i dont have to find her always. I dont jave to find her whenever its possible. I dont need her to accompany me through the night when i work midnight. When she will sleep in my store and not in her house, on her bed. I cannot be so selfish, so please teach me how not to be. Blog, if only you can talk.

She didnt text me when she gets home. Worried. But at least her phone did ring, mean she is fine right? Haiis. Im sorry, shouldnt have stayed up so late. Shouldnt have sent me home ):

Loves,
Jon

2011-12-24T06:17:00.001+08:00

GF bought me a necklance as christmas present. I nagged at her as i know her financial is tight and that it is NOT A NEED TO. So as long as she loves me. But i still love the necklance. I love it, dear. Thanks so much.

We went to bugis to get our tattoo done. We took the cab down after my work ended at 9pm. This is sth that will represent our love. Of cos i will be anticipating for it to get it done. Its like the bond between me and her. I will keep on looking it and think of her. This is the first time that im really willing to do this for a person. To tattoo somebody name, even though its in another language but you will know.

I love you so much, chua hui may. I cannot live without you. I dont know what im gonna do without you. You are part of my life, my everything. I need you to be there for my everything. I wanto know your everything, every single thing. If you nv ask or tell, i eont ask, just let me know what you are doing.

I simply cant afford to lose you. How i wish i can hug and kiss you right now. Haiis.

2011-12-22T23:51:00.001+08:00

MY PAY IS FINALLY IN! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! HAPPY! I CAN FINALLY CLEAR MY DEBT! AND I WILL BE FREE. YESHAAAAAAAAAAA!

I m so damn fucking happy. From this day onwards, i will save up and not spend money anyhow. I will think and plan up for the future, for my future, for our future.

TML NIGHT DRINK DRINK DRINK! WAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA. Though i think it will still be not enough to spend but AIYA, next mth got extra payout again! MUHAHAHAHAAH

I LOVE MY GF ALOT ALOT! MUACKS!

2011-12-21T22:58:00.003+08:00

After GF read the post, she said she is gonna fuck me real hard. LOL. What a GF I have. And she requested to write another post.

FML

So I ended work at 6pm, asked Kenny to send me home and met GF at 8pm under my block. She cooked fried rice. Her fried rice's ingredients, either eggs, prawns or hot dogs. It tasted not TOO BAD, its still edible. In my dictionary, there is only edible or inedible. GF is gonna cook for me during our "chalet" and this time, use the utensils properly. I won't do the washing anymore, Im afraid that I would spoil the pots and pans. This will be the excuse of not doing the dishes.

This time round, I don't plan to ask anyone up to my place, its gonna be only Rachel and GF. Its just gonna be a small gathering. Im gonna stock up my fridge with beer. *smile*

MUST SPEND ALOT OF TIME WITH GF.

I cant wait for my pay to be in. I know I won't have much money to spend though. Im gonna be thrifty as I wanto save. But at least(in another few days time), I FINALLY CLEAR MY FUCKING HANDPHONE BILL. My fucking handphone bill. Idiotic.

What Im going to do with my pay
- CLEAR BILL
- GIVE MOTHER
- CREATE SAVINGS ACC
- TATTOO
- HAIR
- CHECKERED SHIRTS

Basically that's it.

I gave GF the thing that I did for the 100th day. I KNOW IT SEEMS LIKE A KID'S ARTWORK. But it was partly due to I didn't have the essential tools to do it. I will do a better one on our 1000th day. LOL. So you have got to wait another 898 days for the next DIY gift.

I CANT WAIT FOR PAY TO IN. FML.

I love you, GF. MUUUUACCCKKKKS.

PS: Does this post fit your criteria of a blog post ?

2011-12-21T13:08:00.001+08:00

MY GF ASKED ME TO BLOG ABOUT YTD. WE WENT TO EAST COAST BEACH AND LAGOON TO EAT. THEN WE GO KBOX. THEN WE GO HOME.

I LOVE YOU GF! S

2011-12-21T01:59:00.001+08:00

My GF asked me to blog so im blogging now. While she is helping other pple to return swipe card to her store as later is comms day. Whereby she is supposed to go home and sleep as she was working opening just now and had been outside the whole day. Well, its her store and she has the responsibility, i guess.

Thats about it for today.

2011-12-20T01:38:00.006+08:00

HAPPY 100TH DAYS!

Im not forced to blog, I just want to use a computer to blog cos its easier to type. Anyway GF kept saying that on the 20th is our 100th day but apparently she didnt count on the first day that we got together. So our correct 100th day is on the 19th. But anyway, doesnt really matter.

Today I was supposed to go for attachment at Tampines Mall and I have some sort been waiting for this day, as its my first store. But there was some miscommunication, and I was not needed, so I requested to go off instead. (anyway GF is off too, so why not?) Thus we went all the way to Somerset as my phone got problem. And I guess its due to me bringing it inside the toilet and have caused some water damage and the cost to repair is $350. HAHHAHAHAHAHAHA. Stupid iphone.

Rain, rain the whole fucking day. Even though I brought a bag, but I was too lazy to bring an umbrella. GF and me decided to catch a movie at Cathay. We brought out all the $1 coins that we have somewhat saved. We paid our tickets, dinner, our whole day expenses using the coins. Including me topping up my ezlink card. HAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAH. We caught the movie Alvin and the Chipmunks. The show is damn cute and funny. GF is similar to Alvin, playful and stubborn.

KFC for dinner and Prata for supper (thanks to meihua). GF and me took a bus back to Bedok. She is working opening later, thus she has to go back home and sleep. While Im typing this out, GF has fallen asleep and she is snoring(again). LOL.

Once again, happy 100th day to you, my dear. I love you for who you are. I love you for loving who I m. Its a wonder that we got together, as initially, we were just playing around. We asked each other out for drinks. You were the first person to sleep over in my place while my parents are around. You consoled me when I was crying, helping me wipe my tears. You came down to look for me while I was working midnight. I went to send orders with you, taking taxi. You talked to me about ur problems, I talked to you about mine. We text each other every day, from morning till night. Somehow we always have alot of cock to say. All these was even before we were together.

I guess it is really fate that we got together. There was never a bored moment with you. Be it, slacking under void decks, beaches, outside McDonalds, it is always a nice moment. My dear, next year will be a better year. As time pass, as each year pass, we get closer to our dream of living a world of our own.

I love you, now and tml. (FUTURE I DONT KNOW) LOL

2011-12-19T05:06:00.001+08:00

We spent the whole day at tampines as it was raining the whole fucking day. We walked tampines mall for like dont know how many times. But it seems that we always have somewhere and something to do. Whatever it was, i simply enjoyed her company. At 925pm, we caught the show Twilight. After which we went to changi to see planes. Initailly i tot she wanted to slack under my block, after which she went to pasir ris so i tot she wanted to go to pasir ris beach. But ended up going changi. Today weather was fucking cold. Like cold till i was shivering. It had been a long time since we sat by the sea. I really miss the sea water, seeing it or playing in it. Then it started to rain, quite heavy but luckily tampines wasnt raining as much. After which we went to find rachel. And rachel's eggs is really delicious.

So GF next year, it was said that i eill have love rivals. I dont want, and cant afford to lose to the rivals. Though its just a horoscope but its better to belive it than never. I cannot lose her. I m not pretty/cute/understanding or whatsoever. But i know that i love her alot that im willing to do anything. So i hope that she wont leave me, never leave me. She is mine, my one and only.

And i dont know why. But im very tired. I should have enough sleep though and im still tired. Fuck my life. I just wanna spend more time with her.

Dear dear, i love you. You do know right.

2011-12-18T05:05:00.001+08:00

Today had dinner/lunch/breakfast with GF and her sis etc at changi. It rained practically the whole fucking day, wasted my time in spending time with GF. Haiis, sadded. Zeroy is very cute, at least now he dares to come in contact with me and let me carry him.

After dinner, headed back to her place for mahjong. We are just beginners so we didnt bet too large amount. They were fun to play with. I won 10 dollars. GF lost, i think.

I wanted to spend more time with GF but aiya. Nvm, just tolerate then chalet will start again. i miss her so much. I dont know what will become of me if i lose her. Tml is our last off day together. I wanto spend moreeee time with her!

NO ONE KNOWS THE FUTURE, LOVE!

Im going to use these words on you, dearie!!!

2011-12-15T22:38:00.001+08:00

Today is really fucked up. New promotion really messed up. Fucking twister fries damn hard to pack. All crews that can run kitchen are positioned already. My counters are all kids. I cant move my core crews to counter if not my kitchen will die. There was so many mds orders. 2 large orders one after another and call center still gave me half hour. I called and fucked them. Sibeh dulan. Sundae mix low till kena standby, nobody did anything also. Nuggets cannot find, ask me to find. I so big size, want me to climb inside. You smaller size, easier to climb right. Ccb. Lucky gapbuster out for dinner. If not i have to look after both mds and counted. The fuck word kept on hanging in my mouth. It was fuck my life at that moment sia. Their productivity is really no comment.

I ignored GF which is my fault. I was very busy. I saw her text and i wanted to just stop everything and text her back. But a simple answer such as okays, im not contented. And once i start to text her, i cant stop. And i simply cant stop my work. I needed that time to do alot of things. I miss her so much now.

My fucking legs are like jelly. My face was fucking black that i told meihua stop asking me what happened. I know that she is not happy. And GF is not happy that she rushed to my store to look for me but left straight away.

HAIIS i dont know what to say but HAIIS. Really HAIIS.

Sad. I nv see her today at all.

2011-12-15T02:59:00.001+08:00

Tonight is sleeping alone without her. Even though its just one week life with her. I miss her so much. I miss hugging her to sleep. Though sometimes she really hogs the bed and i wont dare to touch her as im afraid that she may wake up. At least i know that she is with me.

The last night she needed to work midnight shift. Thus Ah Mei came down and bought some beer. I know that she was tired. She fell asleep easily. I decided to ask GF to deliver some food over. She asked her rider to send and she gave me one inner of chilli and one salt bulk. I was really LOL sia. The salt bulk, i think can last VERY LONG. I have to tell my mom about it tml. So tml i will be like " HELLO MA! Was it fun? "

I MISS HER LAAAAAA. CB.

Cant wait for 29th to do tattoo with her. Dear GF, even though this tattoo we are doing is in another language. But its about you and me. So you cant leave me, if not it will be one damn fucking bad memory AND WASTE OF MONEY. Lol.

I have got to pamper myself when this pay comes in. IM FINALLY FREE OF THE DEBT.

Bloody hell.

MISS HER
MISS HER
MISS HER
MISS HER
DAMN FUCKING MUCH

2011-12-14T02:04:00.004+08:00

GF said to blog as she loves reading my blog as she loves it as it is about her.

GF is working now. And me at home, facetiming with her. I miss her so much already. So damn fucking much. I think Im too dependent on her. I need her. I want her. I wanto be beside her 24hours. I wanto be beside her whenever I can. I want to summon her and then she will just appear right in front of me, or Im able to teleport to her side. I think I have gone crazy over her.

Why my parents are coming home tonight? Why can't I move out so that I can stay with her? Why can't my parents just let me bring her home whenever I want? So that I can just pass her my keys and that she can come in and out of the house. How I wish I can be with her always.

I have to admit she knows more about cooking than me. She did fried rice, not too bad. I also know how to cook. LOL.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I
MISS
HER
DAMN
MUCH
LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW
FUCKKKKKKK

אהבה ג'ואן

אהבה פלא

אהבה לנצח

2011-12-13T20:23:00.003+08:00

Today is my off day and its the last day of me being home alone with GF. They are coming back tml in the afternoon and then my life will be back as normal. No more able to hug GF to sleep, cooking noodles for her, etc etc. Sadly she has to work tonight, and either I be home alone tonight, if not Ah Mei will come over and look for me.

I was looking at my photos. Photos really do bring back memories. The time whereby we would all go to Sentosa, and just have fun. We would always try to make time for each other, even if I was working midnight the day before, we would all still meet in store and set out to Sentosa. The fun that we always have. Going Jalan Kayu to drink often, when we do not know where to go, it will be finding Wee wee to drink. Though going there, its always by cab, and going home, its always by cab. It was still fun in slacking there, playing poker cards or simply just drink and slack. I still remember August 27, the day whereby we all were awaiting for. Merlions roll out ! Merlions ! Haha, I can still remember the day clearly. Even Kenny was there, even though he don't drink. We puked everywhere. It was fun though we troubled the people there in helping us clear up. I miss the old times. The old crews, Sally, the riders. Work was simply a love to do. It was never a thing where we will be irritated or find it a burden. But now time has changed.

GF said to wake her up at 830pm. She is going to be tired later but she said she wanto cook. Even when I volunteer to cook, I mean, how hard can a fried rice be? But since she wanto cook, then let her cook. And this time round, I will take photos. I just love her to the max. I know I say this in every single post. Boasting how much I love her, but I really do.

Its all about you, its all about you, baby.

*GF TIME TO WAKE UP!*

2011-12-13T03:58:00.001+08:00

Later would be the last day that GF stayed over at my place and sadly she is working midnight. I wanto go for dinner but i also wish to stay with her till she goes for work. I miss her so much and miss spending time with her. Its like we own the house and can do whatever we like. Its like own house, our own life.

I will miss her face when waking up in the morning and touch her stomach meaning that she is hungry.
I will miss her face when i wake up and see her sleeping like a small kid.
I will miss taking care of her, asking to drink water.
I will miss her helping me wash my dishes when im lazy to wash.
I will miss her everything.
I will miss her being by my side 24 hours excluding the time when we are working.
I will miss her cooking maggie for me.
I miss her ironing my clothes for me.
Haha.

I wish that we can settle down and hoping for the time when we can get our own flat and have a world of our own. How i wish i can just move out now and get her to stay with me. I wanto take care of her and her to take care of me.

I love her to the max, i wish that we can stay like this forever.

OH we are getting a tattoo with our name on it. I cant wait for my bonus to come.

2011-12-10T21:04:00.002+08:00

So fast, GF has been staying here for the 4th night already. Time is passing fast. Please slow down. I wanto spend more time with her. Yesterday, I did some cooking with the help of Dennis. There is so many things that I don't know about cooking. I really am a total noob. But GF said she was happy with it. I was shocked that she came back early. I was sitting at the dining table with Rachel, Mei Hua and Dennis, when I heard bike sound. The bike sound was familiar, so I went out and see, it was her. Not bad a, can recognize.

It was fun to have a gathering like yesterday at my house. It was even more fun than going out. Having a house of my own, dinner together, drinking together, smoking in the house. This is the life that I want. Luxurious life. Laughing and joking with each other. Hui Mei is damn fun when she is drunk. She don't puke, she don't sleep(yet). She is so fun to tease.

And Dennis was supposed to go work, but I was told that he didn't! His facebook stated as he was having stomachache. I wonder what Bee Kian will say, after all she knows that he stayed over at my place. ARGH.

Now waiting for GF to come back after the wedding. It is kinda a pity that both of us are having the same off day, but she has sth to attend to. But oh well, at least we have spent time, and these days spent are definitely worth it. I miss her so much already.

Tml got to work but never mind as she is working the same shift as me. How I wish the life of me and her can start soon. This is the life that I want, waiting for her to come back. Taking care of her, waking her up for work, so many, so many things.

Im hungry. I don't wanto eat cup noodles :\

2011-12-09T17:12:00.002+08:00

GF have stayed for 2 nights already. On the 2nd night, Rachel came over too and we drank abit before hitting the sack. 2nd night, GF didn't snore. but I think its because I was tired too. Rachel left at around 11am as she still has school. GF woke up and touched her stomach. It was a signal that she was hungry. She is really damn fucking lazy. I have to bring the noodles right in front of her. But what to do? After all she is my GF. Even drinking, I have to bring the drink to her. But I like to tease her, move the drink away from her when she pouts her lips. HAHAHAHAHA. Next time shall take a video.

I have done finished my PDS. I don't care liao la. Its just an increment. I don't want to stress myself with it. So I am not doing my PDS, and sending it tonight when Kenny is working.

I am a bit hungry now. I am going to get ready to go out. Meeting Dennis Di for dinner and to shop for groceries! I AM GOING TO COOK! With Dennis' help. I am really a fucking hell lousy cook. But GF has been waiting for this day so I shall not give up. I will take photo of the food.

I hope these few days will pass slower.
I miss you ):

2011-12-08T14:41:00.001+08:00

First time i ended up like this. Its true that money can be earned back. Whatever it is, i wont starve. I can smoke lesser. I can dont buy things. I cant dont drink. I can eat mac 3 meals a day. I can walk home. I wont die. I will still be me.

Regretted in the past, spending money like there is no limit, like there is no brain. Spending on useless stuffs, claw machines, new york. The time when i spent few ks on new york. And i have to tell my mom that i cant give her her monthly allowance. Once is enough, no matter how low in cash i can get, inwill ask from no one. Only people ask me for cash. Oh ya, the time when i asked for cash just because i went to china. I felt so bad. 3 years in full time job but there isnt any savings. I find myself pathetic. And when my mom asked me bout savings. I would tell her i have. I would tell her i know what to do.

This time round, i know, i understand. But i nv get this before. i asked from people money. Its just a phone line but its so important cos i cant contact anyone esp her. If my parents know about this, they gonna fuck me upside down. But since when i ask from them money.

I always say to myself, just spend whatever i want so as long as im happy, im enjoying life. Money is not important but now it is fucking important.

Without her help, i think i can really be suffocating. But how bad can it get. Off days dont go out lo. Go to work. No bus fares, walk home lo. Its not like i nv tried before.

Im just lucky to have her. I really thank her from my bottom of my heart but i cant see my bottom of my heart. Its endless. I will cherish her and treasure her with my life. Im dependent on her. Im no longer independent like how i used to be. I need her, like how i need oxygen to breathe. For her, anything is possible.

Just dont take her away from me please, okays?

2011-12-07T02:08:00.005+08:00

MY GF IS A PIG! She slept till 6plus then officially wake up. Today i was waiting for everything to end then faster go and meet her. Me, Kenny and GF were talking cock. It has been awhile since we three gathered together. I wonder if one day, the three of us are working in the same store. But the day will never come. Haha.

HAIIS. WHY MY GF SO DAMN CUTE LAAAA? XD

My GF is damn fucking cute la. I just love her to the max. Im so used to her being by my side, or I should say, I need her to be by my side. Seeing her makes me smile and feel happy. She is the apple of my eye, my mind, my heart and my butt.

AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, kidding about the butt, okies!

2011-12-06T02:28:00.001+08:00

Today went to send off Ela with GF and Rachel. I atmost couldnt wake up till Rachel called me. For every indo crew, i try to send them. My store indo crews, the ones i sent off was Donny, Putu and Dudi. Miss working with them, sundae mix and Kaka.

GF brought Zeroy out and we were supposed to go ExplorerKids but we didnt cos the kid was supposed to reach hm by 5pm. Lunch was on XueTing, though i dont know her well but she seems to me to be a very nice and sweet person, to have her as a RM is really worthwhile. Then we went to watch Puss in boots at Kallang. The movie was kinda boring, i only like it when the puss has his eyes, so cute. And i atmost fell asleep.

Wanted to go Katong to eat but freaking bus had to wait for 25mins. WTH. We ended up with KFC instead.

Dennis got his foot swollen, had told him to go see doc today but he didnt want to. Had told him to tell his mother bout it but he didnt wanto and wanted to wait till tml. Thus i left a missed call at his mother phone, waiting for her to call me back.

Mei Hua texted me, Dennis texted me, Wee wee texted me, and even Esther texted me. The thing with Esther is why did you text the both of us when you know that we are not working. And when i replied no. You didnt reply anymore and you continued with her. So why at first place you wanto text both of us? -.-

We went to sing songs. Usually i sing chinese songs but with them
Its english. And usually pple do the picking of the songs. Hahahah. I do miss singing chinese songs. Should ask Dennis and Ah mei to sing one day.

Money doesnt really matter as long as we are having fun. Live one day at a time. Life still goes on and we wont starve also. So what the point? As long as we all enjoy each other company.

I miss GF already. I cant wait on the 8th so that GF can pei me through the night. I miss hugging her to sleep. She is the spark of my life. She is the laughter and the joy. I love her so much la, a treasure to me.

Okays, practically done with blogging bout today.

2011-12-04T17:01:00.001+08:00

The only thing im gonna thank God is for letting me know Chua Hui May. Being a friend, buddy and a gf. No matter how silly she can get, i still love her alot and that is what i love about her too. I wish that she will be by my side always and i will nv leave her alone. We will love each other till the end of time.

2011-12-03T16:56:00.003+08:00

3 days 2 nights chalet is over. Time flies so fast when we are not working. Damn. On the first day, we checked in at about 5pm. Cos both pigs cannot wake up. There was BBQ for the first night prepared by Kenny. I only ate 1 chicken wing, 1 hot dog and some prawns being peeled by GF. I know GF will peel for me, everytime will peel for me. Sally was there, as usual chit chat.

Actually I have always been waiting for the drinking session to start. We started off with playing cards with me, wee wee, dennis and ah mei, loser to drink. The first bottle that we opened was Bombay, I find the taste not too bad. Anyway, drink drink drink, till GF said she will take over me in the game. Thus I started to talk to Sally. I was talking to her regarding what happened in store. I can't really remember what I said in detailed but I knew that in my mind, I was thinking "I miss Sally fucking alot, I miss working with her". I started crying liao lo. So while I was crying, I don't know where my GF is.

*I think there is so many missing parts, I don't know which part comes first*

I remembered that I was abit pissed with GF. I think she drank abit too much too, so I sat beside her and asked her whether she was okays or not. I asked her thrice and no respond. Somebody talked to her, Rachel I think and Kenny waved at her, I think. She responded. So how can I not be angry? Thus I went in to the chalet, and Rachel asked what happened, I told her she ignored me but other people talked to her, she replied.

Next I remember, I was feeling so unwell, from drinking. I finished up the leftover that my ma gave me, whisky. I went to the toilet and puked. I was feeling so much better and I lied on the bed. All these, she wasn't there. After lying on the bed, I think she did came in to check on me awhile then she went outside. I don't know why but I just got out of the bed and went out through the backdoor without my specs. I just felt like going to the beach but not with many people. So I walked, and walked. I knew where to go, I wasn't feeling unwell. I haven even walked to the beach, people started to call me. Dennis and Wee wee. I think I did answer their call, I told them I was fine, and I would be back. I told them I would be back, latest by 3am. LATEST.

So I sat by the beach, feeling the cold wind, and there was a drizzle. I sat there listening to music. Just awhile later, GF was beside me. I cant remember the conversation between us but only the part in which she won't leave me alone and I won't leave her alone. Then we holded hands and walked back to the chalet. I love holding hands with her, holding and swaying the hands. It makes me happy, I don't know why but ya, happy with holding hands. I went back and bathed then sleep.

2nd day of chalet. The kids are such a sweetheart to buy breakfast for us. Practically we spent the whole day till 5pm in the room. The kids were drinking vodka with sprite in the afternoon. They got themselves high, me and GF was just watching them like watching comedy, especially ah mei. After which, all of them fell asleep. We decided to wake them up to go for dinner. Ah mei damn cock, keep saying that she wants to go cycling. She and her lime and lemon. Its funny to see her do stupid things but this time, there wasn't any video. LOL. OH YA, dennis left at 5pm as he has a wedding to attend.

We went to DTE for chicken rice. Looking at GF eat her bean sprouts, patiently, taking out every strand of the spring onion and the carrots. I told her, she was so patient with food but yet why still so hot temper. LOL. We walked around and decided to buy markers to draw the loser instead of drinking. It was damn fucking funny. I didn't kena draw too much. Dearest GF was the loser majority. LOL. After which Rachel came down, and also Wee Wee, he bought 24 cans of beer. Actually I would prefer beer than liquor. Liquor is still okays. We were sitting outside and played cos so that we can smoke outside. Fortunately it rained, so we lan lan have to move inside, and decided to be able to smoke in the room too.

GF started to be high liao. It's fun to see her act in this way, she is so noisy and funny. She went outside to puke. She said she was stressed regarding the loan. To summarize, my dear gf: I just want you to be by my side, I don't need anything. I will help you. So ya, the firsr to go down was GF. She requested us to carry her to the bed, but somehow me Rachel and Mei Hua wasn't able to carry her, so she decided to walk by herself. Even lying on bed, she requested that she wanted to smoke, so I lighted a stick and put it at her mouth. Putting it back at her mouth again when she wants to smoke. It was funny, seems like handicapped. She talked to Rachel alot of things, I think mostly is about R.

I lied next to her. She told me some stuffs and it was quite sad. I wanted to cry but I can't. I promised Mei Hua that I won't cry tonight. Life is valuable, cherish the time together and love each other dearly.

I miss hugging her to sleep.
I miss holding hands with her.
I miss smoking with her.
I miss being lame with her.
I miss kissing her.
I miss looking at her sleep.
I miss her silly GLUE smile.
I miss her everything.

How I wish that I can replay everything again.

2011-11-30T16:23:00.002+08:00

When I first saw my schedule, I was like "what the fuck?". I instinctively remembered that I did told her and had written on the paper with requests on 1st, 2nd off and 3rd as working midnight. But she claimed that I didn't, I even remembered me telling her that on the 3rd I have to work midnight, but yet she gave me work opening. I don't know whether did I really write wrong. As the next thing she told me was that, she could not promise as Kenny is on HL, Anna requested off and Ely is on leave. So it makes me wonder that maybe I did really write it correctly then as there was too many people requested thus she act blur. I was so sian to the max, and even replied to her text at 5am. I can't really sleep as she only told me no promises. If I really do have to work, I wont be in a working mood or condition. I know that it is going to be hard for her as she has to re do the schedule again. I hope it does not have too much impact on her.

Tonight will be doing midnight with Lyn. Lyn will be doing month end and me running shift so I will not be able to eat snake too much. Cant wait for tomorrow, after 730am, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA. CHALET! I wanto eat HUM HUM HUM and get wasted!

DRINK
DRANK
DRUNK

Lying on the bed using the com, with wireless keyboard and mouse bought by my darling gf. Thanks to her, I am officially a lazy bum. I think my mum is going to nag again but who cares.

I miss you, very very much. How I wish you are right beside me.

SEE YOU TONIGHT AND TML MORNING,
AND TML NIGHT, AND THE NEXT NEXT MORNING,
AND THE NEXT NEXT NIGHT!

Dear

2011-11-28T04:17:00.001+08:00

Dear

I just love you. Never let you go. Please don ever leave me. Promise....

Prodigy Chua

2011-11-22T05:26:00.001+08:00

Dear blog

When i close my eyes now, my head is like spinning so i better get this done before i close my eyes.

She tells rachel things that i dont know. Rachel knows things that i dont know. I feel so outcasted or in another way i feel jealous. Love doesnt mean that you will be afraid of the other party feeling bad. Love is when you tell things and that the other party will definitely know that you wil inderstand. What is the past is the past. Maybe yoi may feel that you dont have to mention it but cos its the past. The other party have missed out so much with you for the past. They just wanna recuperate the past by hearing ur past. They will not take it to heart as they will feel proud that you are now with them sbd they are not like whatever in the past.

Chua hui may, i love you. I dont care whether the past that you were with angeline or her. That is the past. I dont want to repeat the same mistakes like them. Cos i wanna cherish you more than them. I dont care whether you are a girl or a boy. Cos i know i love you.

I love you. I wanna tell the whole world that im with you and i love you. But i always hesitate cos you always seem to have so much obstacles in you.

I dont know la. And i think you have fallen asleep but i still feel like calling you and tell you that i love you.

And i will.

2011-11-17T05:17:00.001+08:00

Today is emo day. I dont know why but just mood swing. Maybe not mood swing but just emo AND shag. Been tight with my financial. Really fucked up. Money is really damn fucking important. NOW i believe that money CAN buy happiness. Crap with money cannot buy happiness. Fuck with it man.

Emo emo emo emo. Fuck life. Fuck everything. FUCK IT ALL.

Fuck this world, fuck everything that you said fuck. Bloody hell.

I dont even get along well with my family. And its not easy to just pretend that nth has happened. After years of studying and working part time since 14, my mother left me a freaking pathetic 1000bucks in my acc. Whereas i have been taking busary for like since pri 1. 5000bucks gone to pay my dad's loss in stocks. 2000bucks in which we went for holiday in thailand. And now she talks bout me not saving. They happy can liao la? Nabeh cheebye. Really total fuck. I nv ask from them money since 14. My mother used my money for daily necessitites and doctor fees. I nv complain. And up till now im still paying for my poly school fees to my father bloody CPF. I keep conplaining bout this, shouldnt have gone for the fucking diploma in which my current job now has got nth to do with IT. Fuck right. If i have nv studied till poly, i wont be thinking that do i have the 200bucks on my 20th. Stupid right. Damn asshole man.

Life is so unfair, fucking unfair. So what if im independent? I want love too. I may not be the guai kia or gentle lady that you always want me to be. And yes im rebellious. But did i ask a fucking thing from you? I pay my own bills. I used everything from my owb money, did i ever drag you down? Fuck you, cb. Really fuck you.

Fuck life and fuck everything. Im stressed bout tml FOR. I know i havent done anything which i was supposrd to do. I dont like having to be in touched with equipment stuffs. I prefer paper work. Lyn has been doing it and i can see that she put in alot of effort. ARGH WHATEVER.

And now she nv text me or anything. She always seem so care free and happy with other pple. But why not me. She can talk cock with other pple and laugh like she machiam got asthma. But why not me? Haiis. Im just jealous that i cant be the one to make her happy till that kind of standard.

Sometimes i feel like im such a loser at times. And i think she is ignoring. Haiis.

Fuck everything.

2011-11-15T15:31:00.001+08:00

I hate it when someone tells me about him. Just anything, anything, so as long as its his name being mentioned. It just makes me think back. I understand how he will feel. I feel bad when he is being mentioned. I have not thought of him for quite awhile already. But just his name being mentioned, brings back everything. The bad and the good things. I wont say that i still love him but it was the past afterall.

Im happy now. Dont wish to be interrupted by anything. So i wish that no one mention to me bout him anymore. Thanks.

2011-11-15T03:03:00.001+08:00

Dear Blog,

I just wanna tell you i love her so much. And thanks for hearing me out for years. You are the one who has been with me for years. No matter what, you still hear me out. No matter how much vulgarites i scolded, you nv commented anything. You never comment anything. You dont judge me like others. Thanks Blog and i love her.

Sincerely
Jon

2011-11-13T04:14:00.001+08:00

Some random thoughts going inside my head.

I wasted my whole 23 years. Or so to say, i wasted my time in primary school, secondary school and tampines mall mac. Where are my friends from then? Why they can still be in touch and have gatherings? Why not me? Am i the problem? Or im just being anti social? I dont think im anti social. Im guessing im quiet. Only few can i click with them so well. But now also there is no one. Haiis. What a life i have now. Im 23 and i feel that i do not have much friends. A failure to keep friends. I always tot that no one would wanto to be my friend. But well, friends can have many but real good ones afew will do. I dont even think i have afew. Or is it that im too petty or too dao. But i think i can be a very good friend lei. Aiya, have to do some studying about myself. Self reflections.

There are so many things that i wanto do with my life. Okays, maybe not alot. Like, i wanna do tattoos. And i did it. I wanto pierce tongue but never did it. I heard its not painful but the after effect is wow. But some say its nth so i guess it depends on individual. But im 23 now, so piercing of tongue is like old for me. Haha.

I have always wanted to learn bike and am considering to take. But i dont even know how to ride a bicycle. And i will always remember what a friend told me that the instructor told one of the students "go learn to ride a bicycle before you come and learn bike". Haiis, kinda demoralising thus im scared. And having to travel to Ubi to learn, abit lazy but this is small matter. Haiiya, i have to set my mind to it. And i know i will definitely be a reckless driver or rider on the road. Cos i wanto be speeding demon. Hahahah.

I wanto lose weight la. I wanto get back like last time, maybe not underweight but at least no tummy. And my thighs lose till 3/4 of the current size or half also can. I wanto wear whatever i want, without having to think which one will show the tummy. Lose weight, lose weight.

I wanto wear contact lens. But i just dont dare to touch my eye balls. Though they say wont touch but scared la. Hazelnut lens.

I wish i can stay with her. I wanto see her everyday. I wanto hold her hands when we go out. I wanto hug her to sleep. I dont care what people say. Love doesnt have to differentiate gender. As long as there is bond, the love, anyone can be together. I love her and i wanto see her smile. Even if its just slacking with her friends, and as usual, i dont talk. But she is beside me, im alright. I can see her day and night, no matter how long.

Okays, random of the randomness. Writing it down, feels better.

Thanks blog!

11/11/11

2011-11-11T03:51:00.001+08:00

You will never imagine how much i love you, how much i need you, how much i miss you every minute, every second, every hour, every day, every week, every month.

Seriously we are only together for 2 months. But i just need you so much. I. simply cant afford to lose you. Even as a friend or as a best friend or gf. You simply mean too much to me that ii cant describe. It may sounds funny but ya. All these is the truth. I need you in my life, be it now or in the future.

I wish that the time can just stop and let us be together, do what we want, be where we want. Looking at the stars, being by the sea, listening to music, just the two of us.

You make me feel stress free
You make me feel like nth in this world is important
You make me feel so alive
You make me feel love
You make me feel sincereity

Im nt as pretty as them, not as talkative as them. Im sorry. Im sorry for being quiet that you have to comment to whoever that you bring me to, saying that im a quiet person. Im sorry that i may sound kinda boring wherea you chi chat with them with laughter and so hyper active which i cannot make you be. And all i made you to was to worry about me. I dont have a pretty face like wanfang's gf who you claimed is fucking hell pretty. I dont have a pretty look so that you can be proud to say that im ur gf. I think this way, you know. I have fucking hell low esteem ever since i was young. I dont even dare to look at the mirror.

I just wish that you can treat me like a best friend too. To whom you can share everything to, even if i cant solve, but share ur feelings with. I rather that you tell mr the truth rather then me thinking randomly. And end up i think too much.

And im sorry for making u tired. I know you wanto accompany whenever possible. I appreciate it. I also m selfish that i wanto have you right beside me wherever i gox

I love you......
Happy 2nd month!
I simply love you for who you are.

2011-11-09T23:41:00.004+08:00

Before I go sleep, I shall blog a little. Today was HUM DAY! We ate 2 plates of HUM and 2 plates of stingray. It is fucking hell delicious, but I have to admit, when we finished it up, I really felt kind of gross with it. Too much HUM. As what dear said, tonight the HUM will find us in our dreams and eat us up. Hahahahahaha.

The sea is so relaxing and cooling. Having your feet into the water, and looking forward. Everything seems so endless and peaceful. Feeling the breeze on your face, the tides hitting your legs. It is like the whole world is upon you. No stress, no anger, no nothing. Just calmness. It makes me feel like the sea is surrounding me and no one is able to reach for me. Sometimes makes me feel like "lying on the sea", if its possible. It has to be damn shiok.

When dear was wiping my hands, no, i mean, my fingers for me. I looked at her and wondered "How lucky can I get?". Here is somebody who treats me with so much tender loving care. It is so unpredictable that it is actually happening. It has been awhile ever since I have someone who loves me and someone who I love, in Singapore, in the place that I stay, in a near place to Tampines, working place just down the road.

The feeling of able to see the person everyday, or even alternate days, or whenever possible.
The feeling of able to just call each other whenever possible.
The feeling of able to hug and kiss each other whenever possible.
The feeling of BEING THERE whenever possible.

Its great to have you, Chua Hui May. As I always tell myself, you always make me feel like myself, no restrictions, stress-free. You understand me, care for me, concern for me. Though sometimes you can be stubborn, but inside my heart, Im happy. Though the times that we spent are not counted in years, but the love I have for you is so great that I simply can't imagine life without you.

I too, wish to tell the whole world that I love you, and you're mine. And we are a happy couple together. (which is why I asked you, whether I can upload photos into facebook, as you don't post any photos of us into facebook, just the one. So I don't know whether you mind having more photos, thus I asked)

And now its 11:53pm, you are sleeping soundly already, that's why I hanged up.

PS: Dear, you really got snored la ! :x

Nevertheless, I love you.

051111

2011-11-06T16:48:00.002+08:00

Pizza Hut for dinner.
Chivas for Supper.

And yet another fun-filling day.

She just loves to play tic tac toe.

2011-11-05T02:54:00.002+08:00

Today was like shit, whole fucking store was a mess. I couldn't be bothered with Rona. She was like a ghost floating here and there. It was either she stood at the fries stations for 10 minutes, then it would be the lobby. I guess she knows that she doesn't have a place at the counter. Not because there was enough pple at the counter but cos I was doing runner. We can't work together. Basically, I over wrote her shift and I don't care. She did asked me whether I wanted to go for a break or not, but my crews will die la. She won't help. I was doing runner, she sat in the manager room, looking at emails. HAIYA. I really got nothing to say about her.

Friday is really crazy, man. Fucking hell lots of customers. It has been a very long time since I felt my legs like jelly. Squatting is the pleasure. When Lyn came in, she was kinda pissed as the buns were not arranged. Partly it is my fault. Rona is the shift manager, and there was Yi Jie packing the store room. From what I heard from Marcus was that, delivery came in in the morning, thus Jayson and Rona didn't do anything. Chiller wasn't arranged, buns was not arranged. The closing pre-shift supposingly to be done by me, was done by Rona. So I assumed all was done. I didn't eat anything, kept drinking Coke, trying to pump in energy. Too lazy to eat, just went to smoke before I sat down and close my cash which was around 1230am already. Where the hell does all these people come from?

HAIYA.

Tml off day liao, so forget it! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

2011-10-31T18:52:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow is our off day together! 01/11/2010! I guess, with the both of us working shift work, we don't really have a lot of same off days. But we still can get to see each other, nearly everyday. One thing lucky is that her workplace is just down the road. I just miss her so much everyday, every minute, every second. I just enjoy her company so much, even if its just slacking under the void deck and smoke.

I just realise our 2nd month anniversary : 11/11/11
Its a must to celebrate.
LOL

16/10/2011

2011-10-17T14:12:00.003+08:00

Weekend off days is over. She worked closing and had lots of paper work to do. I was helping her, hoping that she would not have too much stress. Thus we didn't go anywhere other then supper. It has been like a habit and a need to see her everyday. Whenever possible, I will go down on my off days when she is working. I simply enjoy her presence. Being with her, I feel no restrictions. And I feel doted on. She is treating me very good.

I texted a very good buddy of mine, asking how he was. We did not keep in contact for a very long time. And he replied "I'm fine". That's it. I guess he can't be bothered to reply me. He doesn't wish to entertain me anymore. It's obvious that we would not be like how we were last time. Sometimes, the problem I think it would be is he doesn't wanto hang out with my friends, he kept commenting that they are weird. Haiis.

It's 14:11. The pig has not wake up. I know that she is tired. She has been accompanying me ever since. She hasn't had enough sleep. But she won't admit anyway. Love her to the max. Shall keep trying to call her again.

2011-10-09T13:26:00.003+08:00

Sometimes I just think that it is really amazing. Lol. Life is really fucking hell unpredictable. I have proved to myself that 'Forever' is not forever. Being in a relationship that is long doesn't prove anything. The feelings can just disappear into thin air. No matter how bad the crying is, the pain will just be gone in a period of time. Of course there is memories, whenever looking at the pictures, or I don't know, that reminds me of him. I know Im such a bitch, even met up with all his relatives and stuffs, planning to get married. And now I have dumped him. It doesn't matter that you said you will change, as I have heard it time and again, but you never did. Im really sorry.

Currently, another new love. I have my freedom to do what I want. Same interest, same cockness. I love her, it maybe weird, but yeah I love her. I can smoke, drink with her, like a good friend and a girlfriend. She comes down to find me during work, luckily she works in Mac too, which allows her to walk in and out of my store(depending on who is working). Seeing her, I feel happy. When she doesn't come down, I feel disappointed. It cannot be a habit to see her everyday. But I wanto, but HAAAAAAAAAAA, maybe now it is just the beginning part, thus is the lovey dopey starting. Oh well.

I AM SUPPOSED TO CALL HER WHEN I WAKE UP! And I have called her like 5 times and above, whatapps her, she did not pick up! Stupid fucking noob.

What are Friends?

2011-08-29T21:11:00.002+08:00

Nobody stays in your life. No one. Just because of small reasons/things tt happened, they can just go POOF.

Friend B is said to be a very good friend of mine, we knew each other since 14 or 15. We hanged out, slacked together always. Though we are from different school and everything, we do put the effort to meet. We do not sms nor talk on the phone, sms-ing would mean tt we are meeting each other. Maybe because I was busy or he was busy. Maybe because he used to be the one who kept asking me out and I always said tt I was too busy to. Sometimes I just wish tt he can hang out with my friends too. So tt we can hang out together eventually or just sometimes. And I do really miss him. He was saying in facebook that he won't ask me out or anything until I ask him out first.

My fault that I wasn't the one being initiative.

Friend E is also said to be a good friend of mine, knew her since working in TECC. We weren't close initially. I do tell her problems of mine, practically like everything. But she doesn't. We could just hang out and not talk. It maybe because we are enjoying each other presence. But I feel tt it is always us tt talks about our problem, and not her talking about her problem. She is always the mysterious one. But she's still our good friend. When I realized tt she told sth to Friend P, but she didn't told me. I was kinda disappointed. I guess there are things tt she cldn't open up to me.

My fault that I wasn't the one who can be trusted.

Friend W is also a very good friend of mine. We just got back together recently, ever since I have graduated from poly. We weren't as close during school time. He was the joker and Im the whatever. We do hang out for lunch and stuffs but wasn't the buddy kind. And it was due to his Dad opening a shop where Good Food and People Meet. It was a place to smoke and drink. Drinking became a habit. It was fun, puking, getting high and emotional, even though it was just beer. I told him everything about life. He was the person who I know, who will console me, who will be there for me. One month bill with smses hitting up to 2900. Can you imagine 1 month? It was all cock and nonsense but it was fun. We were practically meeting up everyday, and it was never a dull moment. Thanks to him, I cooked something else which was not maggie. Thanks to him, drinking was fun. Thanks to him, smoking became something healthy. Thanks to him, I wasn't bored while working or while at home. Once I needed company, he was the one there. Where can I find such a friend? But I guess 270811 was the day tt ended it all. Ever have the kind of thinking tt you feel that you didn't did it on purpose. But the other party is affected so seriously. You thought it was no harm. It was like a joke tt you thought the other party can take it but apparently not. I won't say tt Im not a fault, it is my fault. I didn't thought of how you will feel. Maybe I just don't understand you well enough. After that you tried to act like normal and sms me, with those hyper and cocky way. But somehow, there is this feeling of you just acting, trying to not remember whatever tt happens. And I know, this is the end of our friendship. Maybe not the end, but we won't be like last time. And so its true. I know you can't get over it and I won't blame you. You said you want to have a last drink with me. You know, be it, the last drink or last meeting. nothing will change. The sight of me, the presence of me, the smses of me, will just irk you, will just make you think "Why I left you that night". So what's the point. But I do miss you. Even if you wish to say tt you can get over it, but I can't. You're making me feel guilty. Even though sometimes I wonder what wrong I have done, but the way you are treating me, I felt like that I did something wrong, and it cannot be solved. You are the best buddy tt I ever have, I cherished the moments. Thank you.

My fault that I wasn't thinking hard enough.

Friend K is like a brother of mine. He works with me, and we don't often go out together. I always feel that he is busy or sth. Whenever something happens, I would just sms him, seldom would I call him, unless I know that he's not working on that day or not working early the next day. I have to consider first before contacting. Kinda funny. Sometimes I just feel tt he's not real enough. Sometimes I just wish tt he was really my brother.

My fault tt I wasn't born with him as a brother.

Boyfriend comments tt I have got a temper, tt I was the one who blows up to him first.
Boyfriend comments tt I think highly of myself, and looking down on him.
These are 2 major issues tt is bothering him, which in turns bothering me.

My fault tt I wasn't the girl who can be perfect for him, maybe not perfect, 80% perfect.

Life is like stocks, going up and down. And its now the down season.

2011-08-15T12:43:00.002+08:00

Cried before sleep, cried after sleep. I don't know why the fuck am I so into relationship. I really tried my best le. You make me feel like I am nothing. Every time I call you, Im always afraid that you wanto quarrel again. You call it as a quarrel, but I think is more of you scolding me, shouting at me. Whatever I do, whatever I say, you always assume that it is not. It is what I meant, but you don't believe. You ask me questions, I answer. But what's the point if you don't accept all my answers. What do you want me to say? What do you want me to do? Do I not love you not enough? I held my head low, I try not to talk back at you. You shout at me, scold me, I didn't talk back. Even when I apologise, you still think that Im not sincere. Say me zhuai. I told you, I don't like people putting words into my mouth. I mean what I say, why must you assume? Why must you bloody pick up the phone and start saying me? Am I that useless, am I really that failure to be your girlfriend?
Do you know I have my tolerance too? I feel that I have already hit the limit. Im just in work, you don't believe. Im with friends that you too also know. You don't believe. They are being scheduled to work, you don't believe. Every fucking thing, you also don't believe. Don't you ever think that you being this way, you think you are keeping the relationship ? I think you are trying to fail in this relationship. Im fucking sick and tired. Fucking tired. I have to tolerate you, even when I have done nothing wrong. I know I lied to you once, but so time and time, you keep telling me you will believe me. Time and time, you never keep your words. Even when I tell you the truth, you doubt it. EVERYTHING TT I SAY, YOU DOUBT.

YOU DOUBT MY LOVE.
YOU DOUBT MY WORKING TIME.
YOU DOUBT WHO IM WORKING.
YOU DISLIKE ME PLAYING GAMES.
YOU DISLIKE ME USING FACEBOOK.
YOU DISLIKE ME GOING OUT WITH ESTHER AND HUI MEI.
YOU DISLIKE ME GOING OUT LATE.
YOU DISLIKE MY MOTHER.
YOU DISLIKE ME.

SUMMARISE, YOU DOUBT MY LOVE. YOU CAN EVEN SAY TT I DONT LOVE YOU. HOW CAN YOU FUCKING SAY TT I DONT LOVE YOU? HOW CAN YOU ASK ME WHETHER I UNDERSTAND YOU? WHEN I THINK EVEN THOUGH I DONT KNOW HOW TO ANSWER TT, BUT I KNOW WELL HOW YOUR ATTITUDE IS. I KNOW WHAT YOU GOING TO SAY, WHAT YOU GOING TO DO, HOW YOU GOING TO REACT.

YOU MAKING ME CRY AND CRY. YOU DONT EXPECT ME TO TELL ANYONE ABOUT IT. WHICH WILL MAKES YOU BE A BAD PERSON. BUT DO YOU KNOW I M FUCKING HURTING INSIDE. MY LOVE TO YOU, IS LIKE SHIT. SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT. CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP. WHY THE HELL WOULD I FLY OVER TO CHINA , TICKET COST 500BUCK TO FIND YOU? HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT OF TT? EVERYONE CALLING ME SILLY, DUMB, TO BE WITH YOU. BUT I NV GIVE UP AND STOP BEING WITH YOU.

YOU ARE RESTRICTING MY FREEDOM. YOU HAVE CROSSED THE LINE. IM TIRED. YOU CAN BE THE MAN. I DONT CARE. BE THE BOSS OF ALL YOU WANT.

2011-07-20T19:43:00.002+08:00

Today I officially have my own room. Even though it doesn't really matter to me a lot, but it's a bonus. The first thing that comes to my mind is PAINT THE ROOM BLACK. I have always wanted my house to be black, my room to be black. Everywhere black. I just love the colour black. However my mother doesn't want it, as she says it will make the room even hotter and more mosquitos.

Next I would want to get a full-length mirror. And then I was thinking, my bed will be facing the mirror, if in the middle of the night, I stare into the mirror and saw SOMETHING. Mirror has to be reconsidered.

I want to get a carpet and a sandbag, which I do not know why I would want this. I think it would make the room more cosy. But I won't be at home often anyway, its either at work or at the front of my desktop. So I guess this is out.

Get a new computer chair, the one with the handles, high lean on and soft cushion. This one is a must.

My mother asked me to get a new mattress. I love the current one, so soft. But she said soft, it's not good, so oh well.

WHERE SHALL WE GO TONIGHT?!

Vent

2011-07-15T21:01:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was like the total emotion breakdown. I don't know what to say, I don't know what to do. I just feel like getting out of the house. I don't wish to stay with their presence around me. The words that she said, makes me feel that Im the one who's causing all the problems, who's making the family fucking unhappy. She keeps on telling me to go, go away, go get married so that she doesn't have to think about me, doesn't have to see me. She said that I don't care about this family, or myself.

If I really do not care, I would have left. But I didn't. Doesn't mean that I don't talk, I don't care. Maybe I just have split personality, the me who's at work, and the me who's at home. It's me, who doesn't have the courage to speak. Maybe Im just timid. It's just weird. I don't know why too.

Im really sick and tired of her saying all these things to me. Yesterday when she was talking to me, I was thinking "Im the troublemaker, maybe you can just buy some poison and add it to my food, and kill me. Or I just dash out of the road, get banged, then insurance money for you to cure your illness" You keep on saying and emphasizing that Im the one who's causing you to have all these illness. I M THE FUCKING ONE WHO CAUSE YOU TO BE LIKE THIS.

I feel sad, you know. Damn sad. Fucking sad. Sometimes I really wish that I can just die. I don't have the courage YET. I don't know, I just don't know. I really feel happy with my friends. I feel that Im more myself than being at home. I just hate it when it's only me and her at home. She definitely will just blow on me. It's like what the fuck. I really hate it, simply fucking hell hate it.

Is it wrong for me to be like this? Im like this, what do you want me to do? Go bring me to see a psychologist? Nag me everyday? Get out of the house, out of your life? I already find life meaningless. Don't make it worst for me can. Just let me be the quiet one at home. I will help when Im needed, when I should. Why can't you just trust me? I have no point in saying what I feel, cos every words that I say, it just get fucking block in your brain.

Im really hopeless. I understand. Don't ask me why. Im your daughter after all. I maybe weird, maybe quiet, maybe expressionless, but I do care.

Why can't you understand? And with me crying, I don't know what else I can do, but cry.

WHY?
WHY?
WHY?
WHY?
WHY?
WHY?
WHY?
WHY?
WHY?
WHY?

HI ~ !

2011-01-03T01:31:00.003+08:00

Hello Blog, it has been a long time since I have been here. I can't seem to find the motivation to blog as often as I did in the past. Could it be due to the fact that I have entered the working society, or I am just plain lazy?

Well, I was searching for a new blogskin for you, but I gave up searching after browsing through a few pages. Compared to the last time, whereby I can spend hours and hours to get you a new blogskin. I wonder why.

It's a brand new year 2011(and yes, I do know that Im late by 3 days), but anyway time is passing by so fast, it seems like yesterday I just graduated from polytechnic, seems like I was just 21. And coming this year, Im going to turn 23. Twenty-three! Another 2 years I will be 25. 25 seems old, it seems like 25, I would really be an adult and have all the problems such as getting married, my job, my staying, my entertainment. I couldn't possibly be playing Audition at the age of 25. Even though there is people at their thirties still playing Audition, but not for me! I hope, at least.

2010 is gone, changed boyfriend, new friends and new problems arise. Crying has been a part of my life, smoking and drinking has becoming a habit. I have grown fatter too. I want to lose weight! I want to cut down on drinking and smoking. I want to be happier in 2011 than in 2010. I want to do the way that I want it to be, for my life. Never to regret in the decisions that Im making. Only to blame myself, and no one else. Friends are important, caring and loving them for who they are. Friends who are not important, can fuck off.

Working in McDonalds is fun and relaxed. It is becoming my 2nd home, even though certain colleagues are still pain in the ass, but my tolerance is there. I will not have second thoughts in changing job, as I believe, working else where, won't have the same kind of atmosphere that Im having now. `Family`.

Love life is damn freaking complicated. I love him, he loves me. He's 4 hours by plane away from me. We can only see each other twice per year, if by any chance, he can find a job in SG this year, we can meet more often. To have faith and trust is simply hard, as he's not here with me. But Im trying my best to. Loving him has given me lots of problems, not only to me, but my parents too. I always wonder what will happen in the future. If my parents do not allow, will I just leave and be with him or I will end it. Somehow, my heart is telling me that I will just leave everything behind and be with him. I don't know, of course, I shall hope for the better.

I miss him.
Im hungry now.
I shall go sleep, have to wake up at 12 to give Kenny a call, so that he can pick me up to store.

Happy new year, everyone! (: ( To those who happened to pass by here ! )

Back!

2010-10-17T16:31:00.004+08:00

I just felt like blogging again instead of using QQ to blog as I know not all are using that application. Apparently only 5 are using that. And that the main motive of using QQ is because of him which, I know, is a stupid reason.

Anyway we celebrated Jayson's birthday few hours early. If Im not wrong, his birthday is today? Once again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAYSON!

Yesterday, was hanging out with the riders. It was fun and I got to know them a little bit more. In addition, it was my first time with Lyn to just have supper, with Hui Mei and Esther. Somehow I just think that I don't really bond with Lyn as much as the others.

Tonight C2, tomorrow is the start of a new promotion. ;sighs We're going to Sentosa right after my work. I shall go to sleep now.

I don't want to think about you.

Refresh

2010-08-22T17:10:00.003+08:00

When I was anticipating for the day to arrive, I am now anticipating for the day to come again. 8 days of fun has now ended and is back to my own world.

When I reached the airport, my heart was pounding, wanting to hustle them to hurry up so that I can meet him. He was right there with a stupid cowboy hat, his white shirt and `oh, he has turned tanned`. He was smiling and waving his hand at me, and I walked up to him and pinched his face, and gave him a punch in the stomach. It seemed like it was just yesterday, but now I am at home.

I was quite shocked with his living condition, it was not what I expected, but at least there is a toilet bowl, fridge and air-con. It was still a living condition that I can handle and can live in. We climbed mountains, met up with his relatives and friends. I was a bit disappointed that we did not spend as much quality time together, as he was so busy in bringing me around to show everyone that I was his girlfriend. But still, I preferred quality time.

On the 25th, he would be back in Singapore and our working life will then start again. This time round, we would not have much time together, compared working in McDonalds. But I believe, this won't be an obstacle for us. I am planning of his birthday in the upcoming month, I hope I can think of something.

I love you, and I know you love me too.

2010-08-07T14:49:00.002+08:00

Today is Saturday, another few more days, it will be Thurs and I'll be flying off to China, Xiamen. I am very excited and don't know what plans he have planned for me. The first thing I am going to do when I see him ....

A HUGE HUG AND KISSES !

I don't know what I am going to do for the four hours flight. I have never been on other airlines before other than SQ. *shrugs*

2010-06-07T16:52:00.001+08:00

Happy Birthday To me :D

2010-06-03T20:01:00.002+08:00

I had a friend who got transferred to another store. When he worked on the 1st day, the boss told him to go cut his hair. And so the next day, he went to work with his new hair cut which is shorter than the previous. But the boss told him to cut it shorter, and he even gave him $10 to cut his hair. My friend then took a bus back to his house area, and bought a drink, looked for me, and went to cut his hair. The hair cut was $10. As he had bought a drink and bus, he left $6. He took $10 from me, and gave me back $5. (He left with $1 to take a bus back.)

Damn funny.

2010-05-29T21:20:00.003+08:00

Finally weekend off! Didn't really do much today. Went to find Syed and slack at the Pizza for You shop. Ten dollars for a 10inch pizza, not that expensive.

My birthday is coming, I wonder what's up.

2010-05-27T15:21:00.003+08:00

Went to the Universal Studio on Tuesday. Many of the shops and a few rides are not yet opened. And the place is kinda too small. You don't need a map in there, just walk one circle and you can see every attractions there is. There are not much rides, even if they open new ones, currently I don't think there is even up to 10 rides in the park.

Mummy Roller Coaster is the best, but you have got to walk one long way to the ride. However, once you go in there, you will find a shortcut and you reach the ride in 2 minutes. After which, if you wish to continue the ride, you have got to run all the way down to the photo shoot side, and then turn left to the entrance again, and walk all the way in, ( Use the shortcut ), cut through the ropes. Oh ya, do bring $2 notes for the lockers, even though they say Ezlink and MasterCard can be used. But we tried both, ain't working. We don't have $2 notes, and thus have to give them a 5, without any change being given back!

Sad thing that the rides only open till 7pm, which I think is horrible. Night time would be much more cooling and better scenery. In a place like Singapore, with such a hot weather, and having to walk here and there under the hot sun, it is torturing.

Ticket is at $66, which includes a $10 meal voucher and $5 retail voucher. Toilets are amazing, clean and cooling. Smoking areas are just 2 benches with a dustbin. Wear as less as possible, as its very hot, with the weather nowadays.

But I wouldn't recommend you to go yet, wait till the main roller coaster is open and more shops are opened. More photos on facebook.

New Blog Skin

2010-05-20T15:00:00.002+08:00

Suddenly feel like changing blog skin even when my blog has been rotting for quite awhile already. I have been using QQ, which is the one whereby most China people blog. ( Maybe is not most, but all China people ). Its quite fun actually, to blog in Chinese as I usually speak in Chinese and express myself in Chinese. For example, 鸡白。

Work sucks! Schedule me midnight shift everyday! I don't have to face many customers, many crews, gapbusters and bosses travel. Been backstabbed, been complaint about, been disliked. Oh well, but I don't mean it at all. And so I said sorry to like a few people. Im not in the wrong, just that I don't wish to have all the grudges and everything. Just want everyone to be honest with each other. Should I get transfer? But Im afraid of the new environment and people.

I have to tolerate and wait till June. My birthday and Im be taking leave. No need to work, I won't step into the store for a few days. And then save money, till August, and go to China with Youlin. If possible, to take 1 mth off. How I wish is possible! But for now, to save money! Jiayous.

命是由人,不由天.而是由自己, 不由别人.

2010-05-03T20:04:00.002+08:00

Life's been great if you guys are still out there, reading my blog. For the exception for my parents, who just aren't used to me being a girl who likes to goes out often. They would think that I don't like the family. But that's ain't the case at all.

Im happy of what Im having now, and doing now. A job, friends, having fun outside. I ain't doing anything illegal or anything, just keeping myself happy.

2010-04-19T23:14:00.002+08:00

Recently been busy with work and less usage of the computer.

Working in McDonalds, hanging out with friends under the void deck, drinking beer is the current life that Im having now.

Less Audition also. I used to use the computer everyday, but now, 3 or 4 days without the computer is okays to me.

WAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAA.

2010-03-26T15:13:00.003+08:00

It is currently 3:13pm and I slept for the most 3 hours when I reached home at around 9plus in the morning. Me, Huang Peng, Youlin and Sufiana went for breakfast at Rasa 21 and slacked there for typically 2 hours.

I cant sleep. It is like, things are bothering you but you are just afraid to confront it. Now is raining, suitable for the kind of mood that I'm having now. My heart is very heavy and nervous. I just don't know how to say, who to tell! It is like a secret which nobody can know. Not really nobody, but only 2 who knows. But anyway, just say it out, rather than bottling it in and hide from the reality.

Dear Bf, I'm not disrespecting you by posting this up. Seriously I enjoy much more spending time with my friends than you. It doesn't mean that I don't love you. I just want to have fun, go clubbing, smoke and drink till I'm contented but not with you, with my friends. I don't see us doing things other than walking around in Marina and Suntec or staying over at a hotel. What can we chat about ?! What do we usually chat about ?! Now I understand what Baba means when he says, friends are more important than bf/gf. (That's what he said quite awhile ago, I don't know whether it still applies for now.) You can say that I'm some bitch who doesn't know how to cherish what's right in front of you. Seriously, another 6 years together, you and me? Same old activities, same old things. I want something new. I still love you but (yes) I don't love you as much as last time. I know it is heartbreaking to read all these, for I know how much you love me. I'm really sorry, truly deeply am. I think I'm the kind of girl who deserves long and cold treatment then I know how much I love you. Darling, I'm sorry.

( I guess this explains why I changed so much over this period. )

Work. Finally I knew the problem will sure be faced. People taking MC due to going out with me, either the day before or the day after. I know is wrong. But the fun always took over my head. It is unfair to the other managers too. I will change, I don't want people to have a bad image of me or the same thing happening to me. Especially Sally and Jayson and everyone else. Sad to say, it is so hard to get every friends in McDonalds to go out on a single day, might as well we close the store (that's what we always say)

I'm sick of everything.

And now, the sun is up, the rain is gone.

2010-03-08T00:12:00.004+08:00

I went to the Career and Training Exhibition at Suntec Convention. It is more of a Training Exhibition instead of Career. There were so many schools and less job applications. More crowds were at the IR booth. And there's this Marina Bay Sands Singapore, seems cool.

2010-03-01T22:09:00.003+08:00

You can say that I am petty or childish. But I have let it go not only once but twice, hearing from people about what you said about me. Friends asked me not to care as this is the typical you. I won't give a crap about you. So as long as I can argue back at you, I will, without any hesitation. You fat pig.

I know that I am playful and that I do not complete my work (which is what you may think). Well, I don't think this way. Stubborn or whatever that I am, I enjoy how I am.

Dear Yvonne, I am tired of having to talk to you about the things that you have got to do, to make things right. Persuasions or nagging doesn't do you any good. It is like whatever that I say, `One ear in, one ear out`. I am going to wash my hands out of your problems. Don't worry, I will inform your mother that I don't wish to bother anything about you.

Recently I get emo easily while working. What's happening?

2010-02-22T14:08:00.001+08:00

Ever feel down without any reason ? Feel that you have not been a good friend ? Feel that you have not yet accomplished anything ? Feel that you're so useless.

Oh well..........

2010-02-19T22:12:00.002+08:00

Freak, my cough has been visiting me for weeks, day and night. At work, I have to play `Dodge and Hide` game. So tiring. Thus finally I drag myself to see the doctor. True enough, I got a MC for tml. One thing with me, is that I am always afraid of telling Sally that I got MC. I admit, Im happy to get MC, cos `no need to work mah` but Im (truly) sick .

Sometimes I think Im being a very busybody. But I just cannot stand the way he handles thing, and treat my friend like crap. Anyway I have always doubt his words, so maybe is better this way. I just hope that he could think. And his GF to think too. That's why they are a perfect match. But still why? What do you see in him ?

But who am I to judge?! I aint a perfect person too.

Aiya, I dont know lurhhhh.

2010-02-18T00:36:00.002+08:00

Maybe I am the middle person. Maybe I am just being a busy-body. No, wait, I am the middle person. Everything not happy, put as MSN nick, is like what the hell?! Confront people right in the face instead of putting as MSN nick.

It is just so funny.

And weird.

Really weird.

I dont like all these political stuff and two-faced monsters. I simply hate it. WHY?! Tell me why.

2010-02-15T14:53:00.002+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year and Happy Valentine Day.

2010-01-19T13:13:00.000+08:00

HENRY KOH JIAN HWEE

TAN HUI MEI

YOU GUYS REALLY ARE **************

Sibeh buay tahan.

2010-01-13T23:52:00.002+08:00

My blog is dead. I am very lazy to update.

2009-12-30T14:55:00.008+08:00

Last Saturday was a night's out with Bf, after work. It was lots of fun. We went drinking, stayed over night at a hotel and then headed over for Dim Sum.

Paulaner, situated beside Conrad.

Dim Sum at Chinatown Point ` Mouth Restaurant `. We spent $107 for this meal, we ordered quite a few extras. So actually, it won't be this expensive, the price ranging to $50 for this meal, if I wasn't feeling so greedy. Anyway I am very satisfied with meal, and would love to go again.

The roasted duck is very good. And their `Shou Ba`, makes me drool every time I think of it.

My 2010 Resolutions:

1. No more smoking (only when occasions allow)

2. Touch up on tattoo and add on

3. Save money

4. No more claw machines

5. Grow long-er hair

6. Get a one piece dress

I hope to stick to my resolutions. But anyway even if I don't stick on it, is okays. At least I did want to try.

Hee.

2009-12-25T22:43:00.004+08:00

DING TAI FUNG

The price is surprisingly reasonable. I thought it would be much more expensive, as there is always so many people queuing. And I have to comment that their service is excellent!

I was so upset as I did not know what to buy for myself as a gift.

I wanted to change my phone, but I have to top up another $100 as my contract is not up yet.

I wanted to buy a Lava Lamp, but what's the point of it.

I wanted to buy a digital clock, but I did not know where to buy it in Tampines.

So me and Bf went to Cheers and bought drinks.

But it was not enough.

Question : Do I want to get promoted to 1st Asst. ?

Answer : No, I think that I do not have much commitment as I should have for my work. Secondly, I am afraid that I am unable to handle the workload.

2009-12-18T23:38:00.006+08:00

And so when we went to the Singapore Discovery Center. Nothing much, but I would love to try their stimulation theatre the next time.

We were able to create 2 badges, but all we did was to color the designs that we have chosen.

And Bf got his first blue and longest dick that he could have.

New York New York has the best cheese fries!

Their cheese melting seem to be free. Their food is fucking sinful. And Jurong Point is a disgustingly humongous shopping center which I would never ever want to go again. Its too big and complicated.

And Bf caught 3 audio-technica headphones for a very reasonably price! HMW is selling one for $29 bucks.

Darling, I love you and enjoy every moment being spent with you.

2009-12-15T23:03:00.011+08:00

Actually Yuki Yaki is not a bad BBQ buffet to slack. Personally, I would not include the D.I.Y ice cream. It is located at Marina Square, 2nd floor, in between KBox & Pizza Hut. The price maximum is $23 for one person. D.I.Y Ice cream is for another $2 extra.

And Bf is very satisfied with his food.

The new FourSkin shop is very unique too.

2009-12-15T00:47:00.005+08:00

Most Lasagnas that I have eaten, either the tomato sauce is too thick or I simply get sick of eating from just a few bites. But from this store, I love it.

Best Chicken Lasagna I have ever eaten.

Price : $6.50

Look at the layers.

And it is always serve HOT. Early morning when I wake up, I have cravings for this! It is situated at Blk 800++ ( I don't know the block ), near Temasek Poly. The shop where by they sells fried chicken and BBQ chicken. Very nice!

And this bear was caught with just one try! Of cos, it was caught by Bf.

2009-12-12T22:31:00.001+08:00

I cant eat properly.

I cant talk properly.

I cant sleep properly.

I cant brush properly.

All due to this one bloody huge ulcer ( which is the 3/4 the size of a 1 cent coin ) which has grown at the mouth joint. Whenever my mouth moves, it fucking hurts.

2009-12-09T21:10:00.002+08:00

081209

The day I said `Goodbye!` to my decayed wisdom tooth. I wanted to bring home and take a photo and post it on blog. But I took it home and threw it away. It was not as scary as I thought it would be. It was just the pulling it out part!

I have to conclude that tattoo-ing is more painful than going to the dentist.

Yesterday was the start of my long break. And tomorrow, will be meeting Bf to IKEA to look for gifts for the crew outing.

2009-12-06T05:00:00.003+08:00

Okays.

I have forgiven my beloved good buddy. But I have to comment that he is such a lousy drinker. 5 GLASSES OF BEER? And you went dippsy.

WEAKLING!

Supposed to have a nice supper of roti prata with Hui Mei and Huang Peng. BUT BUT BUT ended up, Henry turned up and threw the chair. (Okays, maybe not threw, but lifted up the chair and slammed it down)

And he scolded Hui Mei `Cheebye, fucker.`

All because of some small matters, he get pissed off with her. What a guy. Both showed black faces, then Hui Mei started to cry. Both always say that they love each other a lot. And yet .............

From this, I feel lucky to be in a relationship where by:

1. `Cheebye, Fuck, Tmd, Knn, etc` is a common language used by me and Bf

2. I throw temper by giving a black face and _|_

3. He throws temper by giving a black face and keeps quiet

4. Bf always takes a step in for me

I think, Henry is a very `Da Nan Ren Zu Yi` which is, manly-thinking.

And for Hui Mei, she needs to be pampered.

I haven't finish my first piece of prata and lime juice, then we left the place as Hui Mei started running off.

*Sighs*

*Stomach growling*

2009-12-05T01:11:00.004+08:00

Dear "GOOD BUDDY",

First of all, thanks for pangseh-ing me today. I am very appreciated with what you have done. You told me you would call me but you did not. You said we could have supper. And I called you 4 times and you never pick up. Not even a single bloody fucking sms from you. Do you know that I was waiting for some human contact from you? After so many years of friends, I thought you would knew the kind of person I am, and that is

' I hate people who don't reply'.

And I did sms-ed you at 9pm ++, that if you feel that we do not have anything to do, we do not have to meet up. But nothing from you, at all! I do not know what you're up to. But if you think that Im irritating or fucked up. Just one sms saying "Sorry, I do not want to meet." You can also leave out the SORRY.

I am really pissed off and thanks for ruin-ing my mood. It really opened my eyes wide, it really did.

Oh, and I just found out that I am not one of the invited readers to read your blog.

Thank you so much, "good buddy".

Yours sincerely,

_|_

2009-11-15T00:28:00.001+08:00

I just love my boyfriend so much.

As he loves me for who I am,

doesn't matter what kind of hair style that I cut.

He still loves me.

2009-11-06T23:07:00.004+08:00

This is my 800 posts! WOW!

Today I met up with my Boyfriend!

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

He lost some weight, and grew tanner.

We went to eat KuiShin Bowl and he ate alot of alaska crab legs. He ate till the flesh flew everywhere.

And I finally have this! (Even though I can buy this outside, but the satisfaction of catching it!)

Tml is another enjoyable day with Boyfriend.

I miss him much.

2009-11-02T15:27:00.003+08:00

I have been having frequent headaches. Initially, it came from the front of my head. And now it is like needle poking into the back of my head.

I wonder what's wrong with me.