my ma is afraid tt i may commit suicide.
cos she finds tt i dun have happy days.
or so to say, tings tt reali make me happy.
cos she feels tt in life, one has to make oneself happy in order to find tt life is meaningful.
as for me, i do not have anyting to make myself happy.

i was asked if there is anyting i wanto buy,
just to make myself feel happy,
i would say i dunoe.
or
i would say i do not have anyting tt i wish to buy.

maybe a linkin park album.
but they just out one album liaos.
so i guess.
nth.

i would say tt i live my life without much happiness,
nor without much sadness.
is just normal.
nth exciting or anyting.
just live life as it is.
which is why i find it simply meaningless.
i do tot of just dieing early.
in hoping tt i can get some kind of fatal illness.
cancer maybe?

my ma wants me to take up some courses.
or find some kind of entertainment to let me see tt life is meaningful.
i not interested in sports.
taking up courses, cooking, learning guitar.
i do not have the time.
maybe you guys will say, den make time!
well, you can say tt i am lazy and i do not wish to spend any money on these.
i used to play arcade but now no more.
seriously, wad do i enjoy doing.
watching movies?
watch liaos, oso over liaos.
oso got no meaning.

so now wad?

thou i noe meeting him,
makes me real happy.
but sad at the same time.
quoted from someone " you will still be the one hurt in the end "
such a simple quote, can be heard everywhere.
but is just so true.
i so afraid can.
but i guess it cant be helped.
i just wish tt we wont just become cold towards each other.
good buddies always.

stimes i wonder.
how many true friends i have.
not many. not few.
maybe tt why is true friends bas.
but i cant possibly find them everyday.
they may find me irritated.
i just wish tt they are not.
but currently, the situation i am in,
only 3 pple care for me.
unfortunately, there wasnt you.

but if one day you find me irritated,
pls tell me. i prefer you to be straight forward.
the you refers to anybody.
so as long you find me irritated,
just say so.

sudenly i feel so emo again.
haiis.