It is currently 3:13pm and I slept for the most 3 hours when I reached home at around 9plus in the morning. Me, Huang Peng, Youlin and Sufiana went for breakfast at Rasa 21 and slacked there for typically 2 hours.

I cant sleep. It is like, things are bothering you but you are just afraid to confront it. Now is raining, suitable for the kind of mood that I'm having now. My heart is very heavy and nervous. I just don't know how to say, who to tell! It is like a secret which nobody can know. Not really nobody, but only 2 who knows. But anyway, just say it out, rather than bottling it in and hide from the reality.

Dear Bf, I'm not disrespecting you by posting this up. Seriously I enjoy much more spending time with my friends than you. It doesn't mean that I don't love you. I just want to have fun, go clubbing, smoke and drink till I'm contented but not with you, with my friends. I don't see us doing things other than walking around in Marina and Suntec or staying over at a hotel. What can we chat about ?! What do we usually chat about ?! Now I understand what Baba means when he says, friends are more important than bf/gf. (That's what he said quite awhile ago, I don't know whether it still applies for now.) You can say that I'm some bitch who doesn't know how to cherish what's right in front of you. Seriously, another 6 years together, you and me? Same old activities, same old things. I want something new. I still love you but (yes) I don't love you as much as last time. I know it is heartbreaking to read all these, for I know how much you love me. I'm really sorry, truly deeply am. I think I'm the kind of girl who deserves long and cold treatment then I know how much I love you. Darling, I'm sorry.

( I guess this explains why I changed so much over this period. )

Work.

Finally I knew the problem will sure be faced. People taking MC due to going out with me, either the day before or the day after. I know is wrong. But the fun always took over my head. It is unfair to the other managers too. I will change, I don't want people to have a bad image of me or the same thing happening to me. Especially Sally and Jayson and everyone else. Sad to say, it is so hard to get every friends in McDonalds to go out on a single day, might as well we close the store (that's what we always say)

I'm sick of everything.

And now, the sun is up, the rain is gone.