First day of 2013. And its really a GREAT ONE. First my gf is unhappy with me cos i didnt stay an help her. Instead of helping her, i gave her more trouble. Secondly, my mother is not in the good mood cos my dad is feeling very sick. And she forgot to ask my sis to get my share of lunch, and said she will cook me up some rice. I told her nvm, im not staying home for dinner. I dont need her to cook. Looking at my mom eat, obviously she doesnt have the appetite. She seems like she is going to breakdown anytime again. I think its safer for me to just wander outside and be home not as late, as im working opening tml. You can speak so nicely to my sis, when i ask you why, what happen, you just give me the fucked up face, like you are looking at some useless person. I show care and concern and ask you why. AND U GIVE ME THE FUCKING LOOK. WHAT THE FUCK U WANT ME TO DO? WHAT THE FUCK DO U ALL WANT ME TO DO?

And i really think im a useless person. No money, no brain, no nth. I cant do anything. And i had made the whole world mad at me. The people that i love say that i dont understand. I really feel like telling her back, but i dont wanto argue. I know if i continue, we will argue. Her temper hasnt been very good to me. Im sad, im scared.

Saddening 2013 and more to go.

There is still light after a year.