It has been so long since I wrote something. And its always negative stuffs in here. But here today, it is sth happy and worth all the shits that I have been through.

My dear Asshole came for dinner with my family. Though it was awkward, I know that there will not be any negative comments from anyone, especially my mom. Maybe its too soon to comment as this is the first visit and they didnt communicate much. But I myself dont talk much too. But with Asshole’s character, everything will be fine. 

All these while, ever since she left me, I have used all sorts of online dating apps and always got myself being used or just a few outings of flings. I also told myself that we dont find “the one”, its always meeting “the one”. I have set the mindset of being alone forever. But never did I thought that I would be able to meet him through work. It is true that it was drinking that bonded us first. But somehow I felt that we will be able to connect if time and chance allows.

And so it did, we connected. Sometimes I wonder how come such a good guy like Asshole is still available. He is like the perfect guy. He understands me. He thinks in my perspective. He takes care of me when Im sick. He encourages for honesty and clarifications. He wants me to be purely happy. How lucky can I get?

I may still have some opening up issues from my side but I am learning. It has always been what others think, and that no matter how much I express my views, no one will accept it. Thats why I decided to shut up. Asshole forces me to make decision even though its mostly minor stuffs like what to eat, where to go. He shows me that my opinions matter too. 

Though we have been together for nearly half year but we cant judge through the duration. It really takes 2 hands to clap to make the relationship work. How the hell will I be able to withstand living with the same person for the rest of my life? But now I know that I can. 

I will love to wake up and go to sleep having him by my side. Doing groceries, cooking, housekeeping, travelling, watching shows or movies with him. Seeing him smile, discovering his hidden talents, even its just slience, having him around me, it is so comforting. Looking at him, holding his hands, it is sufficient. 

We will make this work no matter what. 

Thank you for loving me. I may tend to be paranoid, sticky, overthinking, thinking lowly about myself. Please do let me know if Im over doing things. Do know that I love you so much, so so much. I want you to be happy. I’ll be damned if I lose you. 

Once again, thank you for letting me have such a wonderful and awesome guy in my life. I will cherish every single moment spent and more upcoming moments. 

I love you Abhishek Anand aka Asshole. 😬🤭