Im feeling very awful now. I hate the feeling of the heaviness in my heart. I know i shldnt have ask mei hua to let me see her facebook. She goes to the beach, she goes to malaysia. All these she had done it with me before. She is having so much fun without me. She has her friends at occ. I suspect she has a gf too. I feel so sad. Damn sad. I cldnt sleep ytd night after knowing her facebook. And yet today she texted me "nice tattoo :) zeroy miss you:)" i miss zeroy too. I miss staying at her place. I miss zeroy calling me boy boy. I miss drinking with her father, uncles and her. I miss her companionship. I miss everything about her. No matter how hard i try, i still cant get over her. I work long hours, i try to focus on my work. I tired myself to the extent. But my whole mind is still thinking about her. Its unfair that she can have no feeling for me at all. I still have her things, i still wear the ring. I cant bear to cover up the tattoo. I miss her. Why must she text me? Even when i asked money from her. Yes i was hoping that money can make me happy. But no, she is the one who can make me happy. I totally have no mood to work. My parents argued this morning. I have not been talking to them. I have been busy with my work.  By the time i reached home, they will be asleep. I miss her so much. No mattwr how hard i try to smile, how loud i try to laugh, its killing me inside. And now she is out with rachel on a mission, in which im thinking what mission is it. Does it got to do with my birthday? So stupid of me to be thinking of this. So stupid of me to be thinking that there will be a chance of her being back with me. But with her character, no means no. When she said that she dont love me anymore mean she doesnt love me anymore. Why must i still think of her. I cannot help it. I hate the feeling. When can i stop feelin this way. It is so uncomfortable. How do i get rid of the feeling. The heaviness in my heart. Its pulling me down. Im nt strong. I cannot stand it. I cannot take it anymore. I cant take it... Its killing me.