Vent
Yesterday was like the total emotion breakdown. I don't know what to say, I don't know what to do. I just feel like getting out of the house. I don't wish to stay with their presence around me. The words that she said, makes me feel that Im the one who's causing all the problems, who's making the family fucking unhappy. She keeps on telling me to go, go away, go get married so that she doesn't have to think about me, doesn't have to see me. She said that I don't care about this family, or myself.
If I really do not care, I would have left. But I didn't. Doesn't mean that I don't talk, I don't care. Maybe I just have split personality, the me who's at work, and the me who's at home. It's me, who doesn't have the courage to speak. Maybe Im just timid. It's just weird. I don't know why too.
Im really sick and tired of her saying all these things to me. Yesterday when she was talking to me, I was thinking "Im the troublemaker, maybe you can just buy some poison and add it to my food, and kill me. Or I just dash out of the road, get banged, then insurance money for you to cure your illness" You keep on saying and emphasizing that Im the one who's causing you to have all these illness. I M THE FUCKING ONE WHO CAUSE YOU TO BE LIKE THIS.
I feel sad, you know. Damn sad. Fucking sad. Sometimes I really wish that I can just die. I don't have the courage YET. I don't know, I just don't know. I really feel happy with my friends. I feel that Im more myself than being at home. I just hate it when it's only me and her at home. She definitely will just blow on me. It's like what the fuck. I really hate it, simply fucking hell hate it.
Is it wrong for me to be like this? Im like this, what do you want me to do? Go bring me to see a psychologist? Nag me everyday? Get out of the house, out of your life? I already find life meaningless. Don't make it worst for me can. Just let me be the quiet one at home. I will help when Im needed, when I should. Why can't you just trust me? I have no point in saying what I feel, cos every words that I say, it just get fucking block in your brain.
Im really hopeless. I understand. Don't ask me why. Im your daughter after all. I maybe weird, maybe quiet, maybe expressionless, but I do care.
Why can't you understand? And with me crying, I don't know what else I can do, but cry.
WHY?
WHY?
WHY?
WHY?
WHY?
WHY?
WHY?
WHY?
WHY?
WHY?
If I really do not care, I would have left. But I didn't. Doesn't mean that I don't talk, I don't care. Maybe I just have split personality, the me who's at work, and the me who's at home. It's me, who doesn't have the courage to speak. Maybe Im just timid. It's just weird. I don't know why too.
Im really sick and tired of her saying all these things to me. Yesterday when she was talking to me, I was thinking "Im the troublemaker, maybe you can just buy some poison and add it to my food, and kill me. Or I just dash out of the road, get banged, then insurance money for you to cure your illness" You keep on saying and emphasizing that Im the one who's causing you to have all these illness. I M THE FUCKING ONE WHO CAUSE YOU TO BE LIKE THIS.
I feel sad, you know. Damn sad. Fucking sad. Sometimes I really wish that I can just die. I don't have the courage YET. I don't know, I just don't know. I really feel happy with my friends. I feel that Im more myself than being at home. I just hate it when it's only me and her at home. She definitely will just blow on me. It's like what the fuck. I really hate it, simply fucking hell hate it.
Is it wrong for me to be like this? Im like this, what do you want me to do? Go bring me to see a psychologist? Nag me everyday? Get out of the house, out of your life? I already find life meaningless. Don't make it worst for me can. Just let me be the quiet one at home. I will help when Im needed, when I should. Why can't you just trust me? I have no point in saying what I feel, cos every words that I say, it just get fucking block in your brain.
Im really hopeless. I understand. Don't ask me why. Im your daughter after all. I maybe weird, maybe quiet, maybe expressionless, but I do care.
Why can't you understand? And with me crying, I don't know what else I can do, but cry.
WHY?
WHY?
WHY?
WHY?
WHY?
WHY?
WHY?
WHY?
WHY?
WHY?
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