Oh ya and one more thing. Not that i dont wanto meet her (but anywsy i find that she doesnt even think of meeting me, only when she needs me). But cos i know i wil tend to fork out for her cos i know she is very tight with cash.

And i even tend to help her pay jay first. Even if she doesnt pay me back, but im fine. As long as she doesnt treat me cold.i just want the feel of having her back as a fuck buddy or whatever. At least i can lie to myself that its like the past when we were together. I dont need the name but her love will do.

I know im stupid. It sucks.

My heart is aching like fuck. Fucking hate this feeling.

Cry. Crying. Cried.